Shrines, Monuments, and Historical Landmarks: Front-Seat Tickets to the Past

When I visited the Quezon City Memorial Shrine back in high school, in my young mind, it was just another museum. What with the imposing white structure housing memorabilia, relics, and artifacts, anyone would not think otherwise. I didn’t realize that what set shrines, monuments, and landmarks apart from museums is that they have souls that have been bequeathed to them by the ideals, visions, and spirits of the great men for which they have been built.

Historical shrines, monuments, and landmarks give us front-seat tickets to lessons of the past. Although museums are better-known repositories of historical and cultural artifacts, shrines, monuments, and landmarks offer a more intimate encounter with our heritage. The physical structures are historical artifacts themselves.

According to the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, there are distinctions among shrines, monuments, and landmarks. Shrines are sites that are held in high deference because of their association with an important event or person in history. Monuments are man-made or natural objects that have been set aside as public property or have been purposely built in honor of a person. Landmarks are places or structures that have figured prominently in a historical event or person’s life, or had a pivotal role in the country’s history.

Shrines, monuments, and landmarks could be a great alternative to museums if you want to expose your students to a no-tears (or perhaps no-yawn) history lesson. Here are shrines, monuments, and landmarks you may want to consider visiting with your class. These are under the administration of the National Historical Institute.


Mabini Shrine Pandacan
This is the actual place where Apolinario Mabini spent the last day of his life. It is located at the Malacanang Park in Pandacan, Manila. Aside from the replica of the nipa hut where the Brains of the Philippine Revolution was born, the period fixtures of the house are the shrine’s main attraction.


Jacinto Zamora Monument
Also located in Pandacan, Manila, this monument marks the spot where Father Jacinto Zamora, one of the three priests collectively known as GOMBURZA (the other two being Father Jose Burgos and Father Mariano Gomez), was born. The GOMBURZA was executed after being falsely accused of subversion.


Rizal Shrine Fort Santiago
This shrine in Intramuros amid the ruins of Fort Santiago is where Jose Rizal spent his remaining days before his execution. This is also where he wrote the poem “Mi Ultimo Adios,” his farewell to his beloved country.


Quezon Memorial Shrine
Right at the heart of Quezon City, the Quezon Memorial Shrine is a towering monument to the legacy of Manuel L. Quezon. It is a museum of memorabilia of the Commonwealth president and also a mausoleum where his remains lay.


Pinaglabanan Memorial Shrine
This shrine stands in commemoration of the first battle of the Philippine Revolution, the Battle of San Juan Del Monte. It has a photo exhibit of the battle, and paraphernalia and busts of Katipuneros who fought in the revolution. It is located in San Juan, Metro Manila.


Barasoain Church Historical Landmark
Located in the city of Malolos in Bulacan, this landmark is a tribute to the historic Malolos Congress and the first Philippine Republic. . Bulacan prides itself to being the hometown of such great names as Francisco Balagtas, Marcelo H. Del Pilar, and Gregorio Del Pilar.


Casa Real Shrine
Not too far from the Barasoain Church is the Casa Real Shrine. The place used to be the building that housed the National Treasury. During the time of General Emilio Aguinaldo, it was where the National Printing Office, which published the government’s official organ, was housed. The revolutionary publications Kalayaan and La Independencia were also printed within the walls of this shrine. Originally made of bamboo and cogon, the shrine was renovated using hardwood and nipa, and eventually reconstructed using mortar, bricks, and hardwood.


Marcelo H. Del Pilar Historical Landmark
This landmark in Bulacan, Bulacan, is a monument to Marcelo H. Del Pilar, whose remains lay here. The structure also houses a library which has a collection of materials about the various towns of Bulacan.


Vicente Manansala Historical Landmark
This historical landmark is where National Artist Vicente Manansala spent his last days. Located in Binangonan, Rizal, it also showcases his works, memorabilia, and personal artifacts. Manansala is what others would call a modernist, expressing reality using abstraction.


President Ramon Magsaysay House
This is where Ramon Magsaysay, the seventh president of the Philippines, spent most of his fruitful years. This landmark exhibits several period fixtures, Magsaysay’s presidential car, and a collection entitled “President of the People.” It is located in Castillejos, Zambales.


Baldomero Aguinaldo Shrine
This shrine in Binakayan, Kawit, Cavite is the house of Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo’s first cousin, General Baldomero Aguinaldo, a member of the cabinet of the Revolutionary Government. It contains period fixtures and Baldomero’s memorabilia.


Emilio Aguinaldo Shrine
This is the historic house of General Emilio Aguinaldo in Kawit, Cavite, where the Philippine National Anthem was first played and the Philippine flag was first unfurled, signaling the declaration of the country’s independence.


Bonifacio Trial House
This house in Maragondon, Cavite, is where Andres Bonifacio and his brother Procopio were tried, found guilty of hostility towards the newly instituted government headed by General Emilio Aguinaldo, and were sentenced to death. They were executed in the mountains of Maragondon.


Marcela Agoncillo Historical Landmark
This is the house where Marcela Agoncillo, the woman who made the first Philippine flag, was born. This landmark, located in Taal, Batangas, showcases an exhibit of the evolution of the Philippine flag. .


Leon Apacible Historical Landmark
This is the house of one of the members of the Malolos Congress, Leon Apacible. He was a representative of the Mountain Province, then known as Lepanto. The house is located in the same street as the Marcela Agoncillo Historical Landmark in Taal, Batangas. It is furnished with turn-of-the-century fixtures.


Mabini Shrine Tanauan
This is the birthplace of the “Sublime Paralytic” and the “Brains of the Revolution,” Apolinario Mabini. Mabini was an accomplished writer, a lawyer, and a patriot. The shrine is in Tanauan City, Batangas.


Miguel Malvar Historical Landmark
Located in Sto. Tomas Batangas, this historical landmark commemorates the last Filipino general to surrender to the Americans. The place has a collection of photographs on the Filipino-American War and paintings submitted as entries to the celebration of Malvar’s centennial birth anniversary.


Rizal Shrine Calamba
This shrine in Calamba, Laguna, is a reconstruction of the original house where Jose Rizal was born. It has a collection of both replicated and original memorabilia and fixtures.


Nagcarlan Underground Cemetery Historical Landmark
This cemetery was built by the Franciscan order in 1845 in Nagcarlan, Laguna. It boasts of a unique underground crypt, an arched entrance, and a Baroque-style cemetery chapel. It served as a secret meeting place for Katipuneros during the revolution.


Casa de Comunidad Historical Landmark
Commissioned by Gobernadorcillo Francisco Lopes to be built in 1776 in Tayabas, Quezon, Casa de Comunidad was used as a public hall and lodge for travelers. It was originally built from improvised material but was refurbished in 1837.


Gregorio Aglipay National Shrine
This shrine in Batac, Ilocos Norte is the place where Bishop Gregorio Aglipay was born. Bishop Aglipay is the founder of the Protestant sect Philippine Independent Church.


Juan Luna Shrine
The shrine is a repository of the Luna family memorabilia, including the reproduction of the works of painter and patriot Juan Luna. It also exhibits the well-renowned artist’s bed and other artifacts of the history of Badoc, Ilocos Norte where it is located.


Teodoro Brillantes Ancestral House
A repository of personal memorabilia and artifacts of the history and culture of Abra, the house belonged to a descendant of Gabriela Silang, the prominent educator and public servant Teodoro Brillantes. The house is located in Tayum, Abra.


Battle Site of Pulang Lupa Memorial
This memorial in Torrijos, Marinduque, marks the site where the Filipinos led by Lieutenant-Colonel Maximo Abad won the battle against the American forces.


Rosendo Mejica Historical Landmark
This house in Molo, Iloilo City, is the birthplace of Ilonggo journalist, educator, publisher, labor leader, and philanthropist Rosendo Mejica. It showcases books that were published and printed by Mejica, memorabilia, and antique printing machines.


Wenceslao Q. Vinzons Historical Landmark
This historical landmark in Vinsons, Camarines Norte, is the house of World War II hero Wenceslao Vinzons. It displays his photographs and other World War II paraphernalia.


Jorge Barlin Monument
This monument in Baao, Camarines Sur, is a tribute to the first Filipino Catholic bishop, Bishop Jorge Barlin. He was tasked to give the invocation during the opening of the first Philippine Assembly in 1907.


Rizal Shrine Dapitan (Dapitan City, Zamboanga del Norte)
This is the place where Jose Rizal was exiled. The improvements Rizal effected on the place during his stay from 1892 to 1896 can be observed in the ten-hectare area.

To find out how to arrange your field trips to these shrines, monuments, and landmarks, you may get in touch with the Monuments and Sites Section of the National Historical Institute, NHI Building, T.M. Kalaw St., Ermita, Manila. Here are their numbers: (632) 524-8302, (632) 523-0905, (632) 525-8661, (632) 524-9952, (632) 523-1037, (632) 523-1039, and (632) 525-0055. You may also e-mail them at info@nhi.gov.ph.

Eat Your Breakfast or Die!

Death is such a hefty price tag for not eating your breakfast. I was sent this email about a study that says that breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day because it could be a matter of life and death. I don’t know how true the claims this article makes but I guess they’re some of the things that won’t hurt if we heed them. Read on.


Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack, and sudden death. This is an advice not to skip breakfast!

For those who always skip breakfast, you should start kicking that habit now! You’ve heard many times that “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast. Why? Because the frequency of heart attacks, sudden deaths, and strokes peaks between 6:00 a.m. and noon, with the highest incidence happening between 8: 00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours? We may have an answer. Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to cholesterol buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.

However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes.

Studies performed at Memorial University in St. Johns, Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk.

So if you skip breakfast, it’s important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research. Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes, along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice. This will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential heart attack or stroke.

So never ever skip breakfast.

Love to Loop

My friend asked me to try out the create-your-own-love-story website http://www.love.2loop.com. It asks you to give out particular information which it will use to make a story. Here’s mine.

One fabulous summer day at Mandaluyong you see the most fantastic creature you have ever seen. His name is Frankie, and every move he makes just turns you on more and more. You nudge your best friend Ricky and say, “Wow! That has to be the most robust body I have ever seen.” Suddenly, he looks in your direction and starts walking right towards you!!! He says, “I noticed you staring at me from over there. I just had to tell you, that I think you are so hard, and was wondering if you’d like to go to Makati with me and fuck?” With a stupid smile on your face you say, “Oh mother fucker!” and go with them. When you finally get to Makati, he moves closer to you, and gives you the biggest kiss ever. The two of you are passionately kissing, when you feel a cock hit you on the back of the head. You open your eyes to find out it’s all a dream, but there is a note left next to your bed.

It reads: “Frankie is the love you’ve been waiting your whole life for. He will ask you out in 69 days or less, but only if you send this e-mail to at least 10 people within the next few minutes. The more people you send it to, the sooner they will ask you out, and you both fall in love. Do not take this lightly, because if you simply ignore this, you will have bad luck in love for the next 69 years!”

Hoy, Boss! Yung Kape Ko?

I rarely get interested in forwarded emails but this one got me. Check this out:



Just for fun: Sana pwede kong sabihin kay boss na........


--------------
"ano? yan lang di mo pa kayang gawin at iuutos mo pa sa akin? "

--------------
"hello! gawin mo na iyan noh para naman huwag mong makalimutan
kung paano mag-isip. Nakakatakot baka kinakalawang na pala utak
mo dahil hindi nagagamit."

--------------
"boss, makinig ka kaya sa akin!"

--------------

"puwede ba, busy ako? "
--------------

"make your own f--ing letters and presentations."
--------------

"if challenges are more important than financial rewards,
then why won't you just trade in your salary for my challenges? "
--------------

"Of the 10 assignments you gave me the past three days,
can you please decide which one is really "the most important
and crucial and is to be submitted ASAP?"

--------------
"absent ako today. wala lang, ayokong makita ka eh..."

--------------
"...pwede bang mag-all expense paid na vacation? sige na naman,
pagod na pagod na ako. ?

--------------
"Boss, ibili mo nga akong yosi. ...cge na! sa yo na lang yung sukli!"

--------------
"uwi na ako ha. bahala ka na dito sa opis.. "

--------------

"boss, puede bang taasan mo sueldo ko? ang hirap ksi ng trabaho ko eh,
pakisamahan ang isang kagaya mo! "

--------------
"...mag-reduce ka naman! "

--------------
"...your assumption of your position was entirely hinged on the
absence of a viable choice. "


--------------
"haayy.. nagwowork out ka ba lately? "

--------------
"sagutin mo naman yung telepono. a little exercise won't hurt. "

--------------
"shut up when i'm talking to you!!! "

--------------
"ano?!! di mo alam mag-print? sayang ang laptop mo ma'am. "

--------------
"...please refrain from flirting with every white blonde male you meet.
ang cheap ng dating. "

--------------
"ang ganda ng resulta ng pagkakaplastic surgery mo. banat na banat!
lalo ka tuloy pinagtatawanan ng employees mo.. "

--------------
if you really think it's THAT important, di ikaw gumawa

--------------
" sir! palit tayong sweldo!!!! "

--------------
" uh, di ka ba nahihilo sa kaka-solitaire mo?
gusto mo magtrabaho naman for a change? "

--------------
" do my work over the weekend?!?! bahket? may overtime pay ba'to? "

--------------
"deadline!!??...gusto mo ngayon na?...eh di ikaw gumawa! "

--------------
" hey, can't you see i'm goddamn busy? "

--------------
(at 6pm) "if you need me...BUKAS NA LANG!!! BABU! "

--------------
"sus!! mag-eedit lang hindi mo pa kaya!!!
kaw na lang ang mag-edit para hindi sayang sa oras "

--------------
"Sir, tinatamad akong pumasok ngayon e.. sa bahay na lang ako
magiinternet at mag gagames.."

--------------
"Huli kayo! nanonood din pala kayo ng VCD ha! "

--------------
"Sir, lahat ng kelangan niyo nandyan na.. kelangan niyo lang
tingnan mabuti!"

--------------
"tsk tsk tsk.. sinabi ko na yan e.. hindi ka lang nakinig "

--------------
"pede bang saken na lang position mo "

--------------
"nagtataka talaga ako kung bakit napunta ka sa puwestong yan. "

--------------
"Basahin mo muna ang LAHAT ng e-mail messages mo bago mo sabihin
na hindi ko pa nagagawa yung pinagawa mo."

--------------
"tara bakasyon tayo (pareho na kaming pagod eh) "

--------------
"...di po ako bingi at di po INDAY ang pangalan ko!"

--------------
"Hindi po bottomless pit ang MS Outlook Inbox mo.
talagang titirik ang PC mo kung hindi ka nagde-delete ng e-mail mo!
And yes, 700 messages is already a lot! Bobo! Marketing Manager
ka pa naman sa isang IT company!"

--------------
"kabit mo ba yung prinomote mo?"

--------------
"ummmm...boss, crush mo ba ko? seryoso? "
sabay sagot ng boss: "oo, kaya ka nga may trabaho ngayon eh.
ano tayo na? "

--------------
"do you feel threatened by my genius? "

--------------
(Greenhills Virramall style)
"Boss, VCD o, bold!"
"Boss, toro! "

-------------
"er yung paycheck ko? mommy naman eh "

--------------
"pssstt...hoy! Bukas ko na lang gagawin yung pinagagawa mo ha?
Occupied na kasi sa PC game na lalaruin ko ngayon ang oras ko for today e?
tsaka...depende yon kung matatapos ko agad yung lalaruin ko ngayon,
ah basta...tanungin mo na lang ako tomorrow kung feel ko pang gawin
yon or just to keep you updated about sa games na nilalaro ko ok?"

--------------
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce."

--------------
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. "

--------------
"No, my powers can only be used for good. "

--------------
" I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. "

--------------
" It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. "

--------------
"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. "

--------------
"Thank you, sir. We're all always refreshed and challenged by your
unique point of view. "

--------------
sa pinoy na boss: pwede ba tigilan mo ko?
sa kano na boss : cut me some slack!

--------------
"di yan kasama sa job description ko, 'no "

--------------
"if i do what you tell me to, will this change the world? "

--------------
"is it your good looks, your family connection or your charming
disposition kaya ka andyan sa puwesto mo? it definitely has nothing
to do with your intellect "

--------------
"okay lang umabsent ka. it does not really make a dent here
in the office. mas maaga pa kaming makaka lunch "

--------------
" Ang OA mo. Kinocomplicate mo ang mga simpleng problems para lang
feeling mo matalino ka!"

--------------
"You're insecure. Palibhasa, deep down you know you dont deserve
to be the boss of someone whose brilliance you can only dream of!"

--------------
"don't expect people to be like you!"

--------------
"karapatan ko na umuwi na pagpatak ng 5pm. 8 hours lang ibinabayad sa akin!
karapatan ko ring mag-absent!
karapatan kong masulit ang 1 hour lunch break ko!"

--------------
ikaw: puwede ba ako mag leave bukas
boss: bakit?
ikaw: wala lang

--------------

"Boss, leave ako ngayon ha, wala ka nang magagawa kasi nasa
province na ako, pasalamat ka at pinaalam ko pa sa yo,
atleast concern pa rin ako at baka magmukha kang tanga sa
pag iintay na darating ako ngayon sa office. O...may time ka
pa para maibigay mo sa iba trabaho ko dahil deadline ng
pinagagawa mo sa akin ngayon di bwaaaaahhhhhhh????"

Tell Me What Your Friends Eat

"Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are." Do you get how that crap works? To some extent, yeah I guess the friends that you keep reflect your personality. Of course you'd wanna hang out with people who are more or less like you. But sometimes don't you find yourself being cozy with somebody you'd never imagined you'd ever like? I've been there several times! So really, you can't judge somebody that easily based on the friends that person keeps. How about sizing them up based on what and how they eat? I've taken some shots of my friends and their lunch a few days ago. Lemme see how my friends' lunch reveal their personalities.



These are the subjects of this study. At the far end of the table is Peter, the only girl is April, and nearest the camera is Gil.



This is Peter's lunch can. He brings baon everyday without fail. His lunch can's usually half-filled with rice and an assortment of ulam, mostly fried fish and chicken or pork adobo. He also buys an additional ulam in a jollijeep downstairs and mainit na sabaw.

Analysis: You can tell that Peter's family (at least the katulong who is technically part of the family) cares for him a lot judging from the time they spend every morning preparing his lunch. However, considering that Peter has hypertension, you'd wonder if the katulong has good intensions feeding him fried fish and adobo everyday! Lunch is always a hearty meal for Peter, which is pretty appropriate for a hearty person like him.




This is April's lunch. She buys lunch at Juday's or at Manang Sungit's or at Mother and Daughter's everyday. She especially loves Mother and Daughter's huge fried chicken, which is puzzling since she's not a huge eater at all. She revels looking at the big chicken but almost always never finishes it. It's a marvel that in this picture you see no leftover in her plate. If you look at the picture really close, the leftover's inside that white plastic bag.

Analysis: April is what you'd call "takaw tikim." She has a big appetite that gets easily sated just by looking at and/or smelling food. On the one hand, it says that April's easy to please. One doesn't have to exert extra effort to get on her good side. On the other hand, if you are not aware of this, be prepared to not regret putting your extra efforts to waste.




This is Gil's lunch. Like Peter, he always has baon prepared by his mom. The difference is that Gil's baon is placed in clear plastic bags like he bought it from a carinderia on his way to work.

Analysis: In Gil’s case, I’d like to focus on the way he eats rather than what he eats. Notice how he holds his spoon and fork. Pay closer attention to how he holds his fork in his left hand. There is a certain grace in the way his pinky finger is flicked. It is not hard to tell that Gil is gay. Enough said.

Of course these analyses are not objective at all. But seriously, isn’t it fun to discover that no matter how different friends are from each other, their mutual respect and love make them want to stick together for a long time, if not forever, to share more of themselves with each other?

Now going back to Gil’s lunch, here are some pictures of his food. We caught these fried fish kissing.

strAnge

It's strange how much clearer we see beauty
When it's pitch black all around us
Or after the mighty sun has set
And the darkness has set in

Why do you feel so naked
When you're all covered up?
And you feel so warm and secure
When you've stripped down to your skin?

And when you stop breathing
Why do you feel so free?
And when you gag
Why do you not gasp for air?

It's strange why it is so hard to live
When all you've done all your life is to survive
But it's stranger why you keep on surviving
When it's much easier to die.

May Utang Ba Ako Sa 'Yo?

Natatandaan mo ba nung grade 1 tayo? Nung tinulungan mo akong magpunas ng basa sa ilalim ng upuan ko? Ang sabi ko natapon ang baon kong tubig. Ang totoo naihi ako nun sa salawal. Natakot ako magpaalam kay Mrs. Pascua para magpunta sa banyo. Pinagagalitan niya kasi tayo nung hapon na yun. Utang ko sa yo yun!

Eh nung grade 5 tayo di ba lagi mo ako binibigyan ng 1/4, 1/2 lenghtwise, at 1/2 crosswise sheet ng papel? Di pa kasi uso ang magdala ng sariling papel nun. Isa ako sa mga nabuhay sa hingi. Maski nagagalit ka sa karukhaan ko sa papel, nagbibigay ka pa rin kaya nakakapag-exam ako. Utang ko rin yun!

Tapos nung first year high school tayo sa PE class ni Mr. Cimafranca, tanda mo ba nung pinatakbo niya tayo paikot sa patio ng simbahan. Syempre dahil sa taba ko nun, wala pa ako sa kalahati ng dapat takbuhin eh suko na ako. Sinabihan mo ako na wag huminto ng biglaan dahil masama yun. Ang sabi ko nun eh bakit masama kung halos mamatay na ako sa hingal. Mabuti na lang sumunod ako dahil masama nga pala sa presyon ng dugo at sa puso ang biglang paghinto sa isang nakakapagod na aerobic exercise. Utang ko yun sa yo!

Eto siguro tanda mo pa. Di ba’t nung third year tayo eh hirap na sinabi mo sa akin na masama ang amoy ko? Naku ilang araw din kitang di kinausap dahil sa galit ko sa ‘yo! Pero buti na lang sa ‘yo nanggaling. Kung sa ibang paraan ko nalaman yun, namatay na siguro ako sa hiya. Salamat ah.

Nailista ko lahat ang utang ko sa ‘yo dahil inaasahan ko na mababayaran ko lahat ‘yon pag sapat na ang pagmamahal na naimpok ko sa puso ko. Pero di pa siguro ngayon. Huhulog-hulugan ko na lamang nang paunti-unti sa ‘yo. Alam kong malaki pa ang balanse ko pero sa awa ng diyos ay matatapos ko ring bayaran lahat ng pagmamahal na pinautang mo sa akin bago ka man lang magbihis ng maganda para sa libing ko. Mahal kita kaibigan. Ito na ang unang hulog ko.

Wanna Volunteer? I Bet You Do!

Just when I thought this is going to be an uninteresting day for my blog life, my officemate handed me this “ad” purportedly from the University of Toronto. Would you be interested?

Just in case the ad appears too pixelized to be read, here’s what it says:

Participants Needed For Research

The Department of Otolaryngology is undertaking a joint study with the Department of Urology examining the effects of human semen on speech. Our objective is to establish whether acts of “rigorous” fellatio may contribute to pathology of the larynx. We are currently recruiting males willing to receive fellatio. The specific aim of this study is to ascertain whether proteases found in human semen are deleterious to the tissues that comprise the oropharyngeal cavity. Would you be willing to assist? A conditional honorarium of $145 will be provided.

So not for You

I think of you so often and so intense,
I can almost touch you with the skin of my mind.
My body feels like swimming in the depths of the sea of your soul.
My being gets burnt by the rays of your love.
But why can't I touch you when you're just right across me?
Why can't my heart leap out of my chest and embrace yours when they are just two beats and a half apart?
Why can't my hands caress your skin when the space between us is as thin as a spider's web?
And my lips, why can't they kiss yours when they talk to each other so close like they are one?
Why are we not so meant to be when all that I want and all that I live for is you?

May Bababa Ba?

Sumasakay ka ba ng jeep? Katulad ng karamihan ng ordinaryong Pilipino, ang jeep ang pangunahing paraan mo upang marating ang iyong paroroonan. Sa araw-araw ba naman na pagsakay mo sa jeep, aasahan mo pa bang mapansin ang mga bagay na ganito?

1. Karamihan ng mga pasahero ay mas gustong umupo sa dulo ng jeep malapit sa pintuan malayo sa driver. Kaya’t ang mga bagong sakay ay nauupo lagi sa dulong malapit sa driver dahil ang lahat ng mga nauna sa jeep ay umaatras patungo sa pinto ng jeep.
2. Mas madalas sa hindi, ang dalawang huling pasaherong sasakay sa terminal kung saan magpupuno muna ang jeep bago lumakad ay laging nauupo na katapat ang isa’t isa. At dahil sa masikip na at halos kalahati na lamang ng puwet nila ang nakaupo, nagkakabungguan na ang mga tuhod nila.
3. Walang pasaherong sasagot kung magtanong ang driver kung may bababa sa susunod na babaan. Pero kapag nasa tapat na ng babaan ang jeep, tsaka naman may pasaherong biglang papara. Syemre, dahil sa di naman kaagad makahihinto ang jeep, lalagpas ng konti ang jeep sa bababaan ng pasahero. At itong magaling na pasahero, galit na bababa, pabulong-bulong, at kung mas matapang pa, may kasama pang masamang titig sa driver at mahinang mura habang bumababa.
4. Imbes na magsabing “Para po sa tabi,” gawain ng maraming pasahero na pumitik sa kisame na para bang pumipindot ng buton na magpapahinto sa humaharurot na jeep.
5. Mas madalang sa meron na pasaherong nagpapasalamat kung iabot ng kapwa pasahero nya ang bayad at sukli nya.

Sa pagsakay mo sa jeep mamaya pag-uwi mo, tingnan mo nga kung totoo ang mga na-obserbahan ko. Isa ka ba sa kanila?

All Soil and No Rain

I used to believe that writer’s block is a very convenient excuse for writers who can’t get their lazy asses up to their filthy computer keyboards and type all the crazy ideas spilling the brim of their brains. I’m ashamed to admit that I actually am experiencing exactly writer’s block now. And it’s killing me! I feel like a plant during El Nino. All soil and no rain. Just the heat of the sun kissing my outstretched greens. So before they all turn brown, I better do something about it. But what?
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My mom’s home for a month’s vacation from work. She’s been enslaved by the Arabian Ministry of Health for almost two decades now. She’s the hero in my life. She sent all four of us kids to school, fed us till my two brothers got fatter than I was when I was in high school. And now that my youngest brother’s graduating from college, she can finally breathe a little easier now. I’m kinda expecting she’d be staying good after that but sadly she says she has to be back there. I hope she decides it’s gonna be her last year there. I miss having a full-time mother around.
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I decided I’m going to grow my hair again. I’ve been shaving my head for close to five years straight because I wanted to hide the worsening drift between my hair and my eyebrows. (You'll see a picture of the longest length I've grown it in five years in a picture somewhere in this entry.) But then I thought what the heck. I’ve been examining how I look now that I have some hair growing and I don’t think it’s that bad. So I’m gonna try once again, with my fingers and my toes crossed, to grow my once lush waves of jet black hair. This might be the last time I do this before my hair line rages a nuclear war with my brows.
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Are you catholic? When was the last time you heard Mass? Mine was last Tuesday and it brought an unexplainable emotional tsunami that ravaged the shore of my heart (soul?). I decided to pass by the Greenbelt church because I wanted to pray. I read somewhere that praying has some physiological benefits. I wasn’t feeling too good then so I gave it a try. I was surprised because I still knew how to go about the motions. But what astounded me was how deeply I was moved by the experience. It came to a point when I felt I wanted to cry. I had so many things running in my head that time which caused all of the physical pain that I was feeling. I was very anxious. During communion, I decided I wanted to take it. When I fell in line, I was holding back the tears that wanted to fly off my eyes. And I was so close to crying when I went back to my seat and knelt to give a prayer of thanks. I was speechless in front of the Lord. But my heart was doing the talking. The experience was very liberating. I knew it was a turning point in my relationship with God. A turning point to where? That I still have to decide.

The Smell of Spoiled Testosterone

Damn they firewalled friendster in the office! That's why I've been truant around these parts. (Naks truant. I just got acquainted with that word as of late.) I've been meaning to hole in a cyber cafe the past weekends but I got sidetracked by other concerns. Here I am finally doing my blog in one of them cyber whore houses in Kalentong. I wanted to go to my suking cafe but for some weird reason it's closed. I had to look for somewhere else so here I am in this darkly lit gaming cafe. I have no choice but to sit beside sweaty post-teen boys playing RPG. God the place smells weird! It reeks of spoiled testosterone! I've never been in a room where I'm the single soul thinking. (I don't mean to disparage online gamers. I know the games require some gray matter as well. I just don't get why these people have to talk aloud while playing! Ganun ba talaga? Parang naglalaro ng sakla sa sugalan.)

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There's been an exodus of some sort in the office. Except for a few brave souls (including me), most of the key people in the department have packed their bags leaving Management (and HR) all fucked-up. I'm not about to tell here the real reason why they did it. But here's the hilarious part. Some people from the office believe they have been pirated by a company enganged in BPO. Talk about being clueless!

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So what happens to me in Diwa? I get "transferred" to the newly instituted Acquisitions "Department" (I don't know if you can call a group made up of three people a department. Enlighten me.) I consider that the next best thing to @#4^6&. (Sorry I have to bleep that.)

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Have you ever been sick in the head? I have. I've been sick of thinking that I'm sick. It's scary how powerful the brain is, making you feel things, real symptoms of real illnesses, which you really don't have. It's called anxiety attack. Man the last month was the most nervewracking! I still get aftershocks sometimes.

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I did an experiment to verify the existence of what others call psychosomatic illness. I conditioned myself that my stomach was aching. I wanted my stomach to go bad. I internalized the pain, as if I really felt it. And it did. It gave me an excuse not to attend a get-together I wasn't so excited to go to anyway. Wanna try it?

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Note: Originally posted at http://radioactivemanjuice.blogs.friendster.com/radioactivity/.

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This is incidentally my 69th post here at blogspot. My favorite number.

Kafkaesque

This word started off my curiosity with literary giant Franz Kafka. I’ve heard his name in the past but my curiosity never got aroused. He was one of those high-browed names I chose not to read because I thought I would never understand their work anyway. I don’t want to make myself feel stupid.

I went to Powerbooks last Sunday hunting for new reads. I just finished the juvenile but very entertaining Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Before that I read The Chronicles of Narnia just in time for the movie’s showing. Anyway, I’m digressing. I had a book in mind already. I’ve always wanted to buy The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova ever since I first saw it on the shelves months ago. They only had hard-bound copies then which cost a fortune. I also had other books in mind back then so I put The Historian in queue. I finally bought a soft-bound pocket-sized copy last Sunday. While looking around, I saw Franz Kafka’s The Great Wall of China in the classics section. The word “Kafkaesque” came to my mind. I didn’t know exactly what that word meant except that an acquaintance of mine kept brandishing it to my face some time ago. I checked out an open copy of the very thin collection of shorts. It opened to the page of with a very short piece called "A Little Fable" which tells about a mouse whose world seemed to be growing smaller, closing in on him, as if its walls were crashing him. The mouse was unknowingly walking himself toward a corner of a room where a cat was waiting for him. The cat tells him in the end that the mouse could’ve saved himself if he just walked the other direction, away from the corners, away from the walls, away from the cat, and into the open space. That very wise suggestion the cat gave before eating the mouse.

What got my attention was Kafka’s dark and cruel perception of the world. You get no fairy tale endings from him, just plain tragedy. But it is not the sad kind of tragedy. The gloom that looms from his first few statements make you expect a not-so-hopeful ending. In fact, the mood he sets is downright hopeless. This expectation cushions, if not eliminates, the trauma of a tragic ending. Of course I am not generalizing Kafka’s body of work as if I read its full breadth. Aside from the collection I mentioned, the other Kafka work I read is The Metamorphosis which is supposedly his most famous.

Kafka’s major appeal to me is that in some strange and probably unexplained manner, Kafkaesque so to speak, I can relate to his characters. I don’t know if that means I am a sad tragedy waiting to happen. But I do find some comfort in the normalcy of how he presents loneliness and cruelty. I am not hallucinating after all. He confirmed that the world is sad. I just hope he is wrong though to believe that the only way to fight it is by dying.

Breaking My Blog Silence

I have been dreadfully blog-quiet during the last, what two weeks I guess, because I’ve been busy. I’m gonna be filling you in now.

1. I went on a 10-day vacation leave. Initially I was thinking of going off somewhere where I could get a nice tan. Having my left eyebrow pierced was also in my plans. Unfortunately, a more pressing concern hit me so I never went outside Metro Manila. I never had the time as well to have my virgin brow pricked.

2. The more pressing concern was regarding the 20 gb iPod photo which I put out for bidding in several Websites almost a month and a half ago. I was starting to get frustrated by how slow the process was and I really wanted to sell the gadget as soon as possible so I thought of using most of my time to hawk it online. One funny and annoying thing I discovered during the course of doing my online transaction was what I call the Divisoria Syndrome. Normally, bidding starts at the price which the seller dictates. For example, I put up my iPod for sale at 13000 Php. I then expect that the price the bidders will offer will be higher than my sale price. The logic there is that the bidders are competing for the product that you are selling. Naturally, you’d sell to the highest bidder. That’s how the whole idea of bidding. But I was shocked when 90 percent of the bids that I got are way below my asking price. I was thinking, are these people crazy? I thought about it and realized that most of us are afflicted with the Divisoria Sydrome or the tawad-lugi mentality. I’d like to think it is not a reflection of plain ignorance of bidding procedures but of how dire the financial situation in our country is. I say it’s funny because it is so Filipino to haggle almost everything to death. Tatawaran lahat ng pwedeng tawaran. But it could get really annoying if you’re doing legit business and dealing with serious sellers. It’s a good thing I waited. I got the bid that I wanted so I sold my iPod immediately.

3. I bought myself a 5 Gen 30 gb black iPod video. Now it’s keeping me more busy figuring out how to convert my VCDs and DVDs to iPod viewable files. The task is pounding my brain to pieces but I’m loving every minute of it. I didn’t know I could reach this level of geekiness with gadgets but here I am, a certified iPod geek.

4. I haven’t had my head shaved for almost a month now. And that means a considerable amount of hair on my head which freaks out most of my friends. It’s been years since I had a full head of hair. And though for genetic reasons that would be a miraculous feat to accomplish again now, I am determined to let my hair grow until I can’t bear looking at myself in the mirror anymore.


There. I hope to do this more often from here on. That is if I get my hands off my new iPod.

Flora and Fauna

This is what a sleepy guy does when he's in a "bored" meeting. I call this artwork Flora and Fauna. I don't know if you noticed but that curved line right at the center, that one written across the head of the tree and the butterflies and the floating flower? See that? That was an addition by my rafiki. He says it's his version of a mountain. It puts the flora and fauna in context. Nice.

This'll Pass

I’ve always maintained, as I tell all my friends and the guys who show interest in me, that I am not inclined to get into a relationship as of the moment. I said I’ve been in and out of it several times with little time in between for myself. I guess now I’m taking that sweet time, concentrating on myself and the things that I want to do by myself—things which I think I cannot do, at least to a certain level, when I am attached (Gallivanting with guys is not one of them believe me. I can do that EVEN if I am in a relationship if I choose to.) Now here’s the thing. I heard Mass yesterday after a long time. It was pretty special to me because I meant it to be some sort of a thanksgiving to Him for helping me go through the very emotionally tiring two weeks that just passed. I was sorry for myself because my attention was distracted by two guys who I dare assume are a couple. They were pretty tall guys: one was ok and the other one looked really cute. They didn’t have to hold hands or kiss in front of me for me to guess what they are. The way the cute guy leaned toward the other guy, and how they smiled at each other, or the way they whisper something on the other’s ear—I had no doubt they were an item. And I felt envious, especially since I was there alone. I couldn’t concentrate on the Mass anymore so instead of committing the bigger mistake of ogling at them during a supposedly solemn Catholic ceremony, I just upped and went away.

I don’t know what hit me then. I am never the envious type, especially when it comes to relationships. Not now when I’ve had seven, and that’s not even counting the flings which were all just sex anyway. (And besides, I think I’ve hurt a lot of guys and been hurt by them as well in the past because of our being reckless with love.) I guess the affection and the care from a boyfriend is what I, envy is not the word now, it’s miss. I miss being loved, being cared for by somebody I love and care about too. I miss going out with a boyfriend, spending time just walking in the mall, or watching a movie, or having petty quarrels. I miss having someone I can throw sweet smiles at, or exchange sugar-coated glances with, or whisper ant-attracting words to, or text “I love you baby” to. Nah I’m not going to just get my hands on the next guy who comes along just because I feel mushy about relationships now. Those seven I’ve had, taking my time is one of the very important lessons they’ve taught me. But it’s nice feeling desperate about love once in a while. This’ll pass.

Confessions on a Dance Floor

I pre-purchased yesterday Madonna's latest CD. I don't consider myself a hardcore Madonna fan but I always look forward to whatever new she comes up with. I've heard rave reviews about the CD and I've seen the video of Hung Up and I'd say this one's definitely going to be in the ranks of the Ray of Light album. These are scans of the card I got when I pre-purchased the album. I get a Madonna premium item when I claim the CD and a free entrance to the album's launch party at Government on 11 November 2005. Not bad for the price of a regular CD.

I Move Away

This is what happens when you close in on me.
I m o v e a w a y .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m t h e l i g h t .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m t h e w a r m t h .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m w h a t ’ s c l e a r .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m w h a t ’ s s u r e .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m h e a v e n .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m b l o o m .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m w h a t ’ s s w e e t .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m w h a t ’ s c o o l .
I m o v e a w a y f r o m y o u .
Don’t take it personal.
I m o v e a w a y f r o m l o v e .
I m o v e a w a y .

Philippine High School for the Arts: The Arts Haven in Mystic Mount Makiling

Reynaldo Wong shares the reasons why he found a second home at the Philippine High School for the Arts campus in the fringes of Mount Makiling in Los Baños, Laguna. “Yung mga taun-taong mga produksyon, mga showcase, mga sayaw-sayaw, they never fail to disappoint me. Para akong na-rerecharge. Kapiling mo yung mga bata na in a way ay parang mga anak mo na rin. Parang ang saya-saya ko.”

In 1991, Wong answered an anonymous ad for Science and Computer teachers which called on applicants to show up at the Folk Arts Theater. He received a letter after a month congratulating him for getting the job and instructing him to pack up for an in-service training. “Mag-impake ka ng damit for one week kasi mayroong in-service training for new faculty.” He thought all along that the training would be held in a resort or a hotel. He never knew where the school was until they were on the bus going to Mount Makiling. “Susmaryosep! Ano ba itong napuntahan ko,” was all he could say to himself. That was his first time to leave home for an extended period of time. Since then, he has only left PHSA to visit his family and do official business for the school. He has been working there for15 years. He is now PHSA’s Assistant Director I.

His was the face of a satisfied man. And I could tell why from the moment I stepped out of the PHSA shuttle that fetches employees to and from the UPLB main campus.

Located in the middle of the greens in one of the Philippines’ most mysterious and often mystical Mount Makiling, the campus of the Philippine High School for the Arts is a take-off from the usual hustle-and-bustle school campuses in Metro Manila. Before I took the trip, I studied the vicinity map and sort of got the impression that walking from UPLB to the National Arts Center compound in Mount Makiling where PHSA is located would be manageable. Regardless of the drizzle that morning, walking my way up the campus proved to be a bad idea. As one of my co-passengers in the PHSA employee shuttle described to me, going there was more like a mountain hike than a promenade in the park. Although the route was scenic, the road was well-paved, and the air was crisp-clean, the upward incline would be such a struggle for people not used to trekking. The campus is quite a distance from the UPLB main campus where most of the transportation is. The effort of getting there is well worth it though. When you’re there, you might have to think hard of coming back.

History

The Philippine High School for the Arts is a public, secular, and non-profit government agency attached to the Department of Education (DepEd). It was established in 11 June 1977 as a special school for the arts through the efforts of then First Lady Imelda Marcos. In 1990, it was converted to a regular government agency under the DepEd. Its programs are implemented in consultation with the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP).

The school aims to be a “center for excellence and leadership in arts, research, training, education, and support programs.” It provides an arts-based special secondary curriculum in view of developing the capabilities of artistically-inclined youth and consequently to preserve and promote Philippine arts and culture.

Facilities

According to Cleofe Cabauatan, Administrative Assistant and has been with PHSA for 25 years, the campus can accommodate up to a maximum of 150 students, from first year to fourth year. As of school year 2005-2006, their total student population is 119. PHSA is boarding-school type; 30 cottages serve as residence for students, instructors, and administrative and support staff.

There are also cottages that are used as classrooms, laboratories, the library, computer room, audio-visual room, and practice rooms. The school also has its own theatre where most of the students’ performances are held.

Admissions and Scholarship

Any Filipino student with an outstanding ability in any of the arts, is eligible for graduation from elementary, not older than 13 years, proficient in both English and Filipino, has no communicable disease, and is willing to live in the campus is welcome to apply for scholarship.

Tuition at PHSA is totally free. “Wala silang bayad. Apat na taon. Free board and lodging, walang tuition, libre ang paghahatid at pagsundo sa Maynila. Tapos kung meron pa silang out of town performances or out of the country, libre din yun. May allowance silang 500,” says Cabauatan. She says the school spends P 200 000 a year for each student.

The school launches a nationwide search for incoming freshmen students every year which they call the Annual Nationwide Search for Young Scholars (ANSYAS) program. It is virtually a talent search which they conduct in different audition centers all over the Philippines. They start announcing the ANSYAS around April or May through the DepEd division superintendents and city schools, CCP art councils, and NGOs. When the application forms come in, the screenings start. “Auditions muna. Lahat ng makapapasa sa auditions, pinakukuha ng written exam. Pinasusulat namin ng essay at (pinakukuha ng) dalawang aptitude test. Isang nonverbal at isang academic aptitude,” Cabauatan reveals.

To the choice of audition centers, she says, “Nag-iiba-iba kami ng lugar taun-taon. As much as possible gusto naming mapuntahan ang pinakamaraming lugar sa Pilipinas kasi naniniwala kami na di pa rin gasinong kilala sa Pilipinas ang eskwelahan.”

Cabauatan says that in the early years of PHSA, they receive between 200 to 300 applicants, from which they choose only 25 to award the scholarship. Recently though, they have shifted gears and decided to accept 50 freshmen because of the high attrition rate of those who qualify for scholarship. “As much as possible, gusto naming malakihan ang aming population. Last year, ang kinuha namin 50. Pero dun sa 50 na iyon, ang nag-enroll lang 38. Kasi may mga apprehension yung mga magulang ng mga taga-malalayo na papuntahin dito yung mga bata. Meron nga kaming nakuha sa Palawan. First time naming pumunta sa Palawan. Apat ang nakapasa dun. Nag-alanganin yung magulang. Di sila tumuloy. Hinayang na hinayang talaga kami.”

Even relative to Metro Manila, the school is not exactly proximate. This explains the apprehension of parents of would-be scholars. Cabauatan says that in the audition centers, they talk to parents and give them assurances just in case their child passes the ANSYAS. “Binibigyan namin ng assurance talaga ang mga magulang na kahit malayo, aalagaan namin ang mga anak nila. Sa orientation, habang nag-eexam, may mga magulang na nakikipag-usap, may mga tumatawag sa telepono rito, (sinasabing) ang layo naman ho ng eskwelahan nyo eh. Ang sagot naman namin, meron ho kami ditong duktor, meron ho kaming nurse, meron ho kaming house parent, aalagaan ho ng husto ang anak nyo dito.”

Director Wong himself is a witness to the great lengths PHSA had to go to convince and assure the parents of successful scholars. “...ako yung kumukuha sa kanila (sholars) sa mga probinsya, dinadala (sila) dito kasi ako yung chairman ng screening for the past ten years. Ako yung nagbibigay ng orientation, ako yung nagkukumbinsi sa mga nanay (para payagan ang kanilang mga anak).”

Curriculum

The PHSA curriculum is a combination of general secondary education level program and a special program geared toward arts education.

“Sinusunod pa rin naman namin ang Revised Basic Education Curriculum (RBEC). Public school kami. Kaya buong umaga, mula alas-7 hanggang 12:40, andyan na yung basic education nila. Kapag 2 to 6, ayan na yung arts nila,” says Cabauatan about the components of their special secondary curriculum. She elaborates more, saying “Pero dun sa kanilang basic education, na-iincorporate pa rin kung ano yung natutunan nila sa arts. Yung natutunan nila sa Science and Math, nagagamit naman nila sa paggawa ng arts production. Halimbawa, yung isang visual artist, ang tema niya sa kanyang exhibit ay tungkol sa light. Ang consultant niya sa paggawa ng kanyang thesis ay yung kanyang Physics teacher. Nag-cocombine (ang arts at Science). Di lang basta artistic expression, scientific pa yung kanyang exhibit. Naiintindihan niya kasi yung prinsipyo ng kanyang exhibit in terms of Science.”

She cites more examples, “Halimbawa naman (sa) dance, na-cocombine niya (ito) sa History. Kagaya last year. Ang thesis performance ng mga folk dancers (ay) Ibong Adarna. Nagawan nila ng dance production yung Ibong Adarna. Napag-aralan nila yung literary piece. Naisalin nila sa sayaw. Ganun din yung ginagawa ng ballet dancers namin. Sa History rin nila binabase yung kanilang ballet performance.”

PHSA students major in five different arts: creative writing, dance, music, visual arts, and theater arts. One of the first things that a PHSA freshman does is to determine what arts he or she wants to major in. “Pagpasok pa lang nila rito, (tinatanong na namin kung) ano ang kanilang (gustong) major. Kaya hiwa-hiwalay rin yung audition. Kung saan ka pinakamagaling dun ka mag-audition.”

Cabauatan explains, “Lahat ng pare-parehong majors, sila yung magkakaklase. Pinaghahalo lang sila pag-elective na. Tuwing Thursday, binibigyan namin ng pagkakataon ang lahat ng mga estudyante na ma-experience din nila yung ibang arts. Halimbawa ballet dancer, pwede rin siyang mag-enrol ng music. Halimbawa, (pwede siyang mag-enrol sa) Philippine ethnic music. Kasi yung tugtog sa Philippine ethnic music, pwede niyang gamitin sa kanyang sayaw. Meron namang theater arts (major), nag-vivisual arts siya (as elective). Magagamit niya yun for production design sa kanyang palabas. Pitong electives yung kanyang pwedeng lipat-lipatan. Every semester, puwede siyang pumasok sa isang elective.”

A typical class day starts early for PHSA students. “Siyempre gigising ng maaga. Mga 4:30. Siyempre apat sila sa kwarto kaya hali-halili yan sa paliligo,” Cabauatan says. She also adds that they make it a point to assign students with the same majors in the same room. “Ngayon nakikita naming mas epektibo na ang magkakasama sa kwarto ay magkakapareho ng arts para nakakapag-usap sila tungkol sa arts nila.”

The whole morning is dedicated to all the basic education subjects. “Pagdating ng alas-siyete umpisa na ng klase hanggang 12:40. May break sila ng mga 20 minutes para magmeryenda. Ang time allotment per subject ay 40 minutes.” The only difference of the basic education program in PHSA is the presence of a special art education course which the students take every Tuesdays. Cabauatan says that the course is designed to give the students a theoretical background of the arts. And as a consequence of the school’s thrust toward arts, they do not teach the subject Makabayan which is one of the main innovations in the RBEC. “Kasi ang kinukuha sa Makabayan ay kabuuan na ng kinukuha nila dito sa PHSA. Meron naman silang Social Studies, meron naman silang arts, meron silang Art Studies. Yun din naman ang content ng Makabayan.”

In the afternoons, from 2 to 6, the class breaks up into their different arts majors.

The school has in-house basic education teachers and arts instructors. Aside from them, PHSA has a set of high-profile art consultants to enhance their instruction. “Binibisita rin kami ng mga artists para magbigay ng lectures. Nonoy Froilan, Virgilio Almario, Melissa Atienza. (We have) Around 25 art consultants to enhance (our program). Music ang pinakamarami kasi individualized (instruction) yan eh.”

The 10 Year Development Plan

One of the major concerns of PHSA nowadays is its 10-year development plan, anchored on the theme “Muling Pagtanaw, Bagong Pananaw.”

“First and foremost, the 10-year development plan zeroes in on curriculum reform. We would like our curriculum to be research-based. And all our teaching and learning processes documented, published, and disseminated particularly to other art schools,” explains Director Wong. He explains that by research-based, he means the program aims to equip their students with research skills which they would use in their fourth year in school when they are sent back to the communities where they came from. “We would like them to see for themselves culture, and customs, and traditions, and heritages right where they came from. Because we have students from Pagadian, Bukidnon, Laoag, and we would like to equip them through curriculum reforms with research skills and their outputs research-based therefore. And we would like them to engage in actual community research and search and mingling with people documenting ways of living with a view of enriching all the more their artistic excellence.”

Another major facet of their planned curriculum reform is what Wong calls “curriculum differentiation.” “When we say curriculum differentiation, we tailor the curriculum to fit the inclination of a particular student or a group of students with similar abilities or talents.” He says that curriculum differentiation will need a lot of work. “We will have to do a lot of teacher training, module signing and construction, and workshops in order to tailor-fit the things that are supposed to be learned as prescribed by the DepEd for high school students. We are going to decongest (the curriculum) and focus (it) to the real destination and that is to bring the students on their final year here or at least half of their final year to where they came from. Eh saan ba ito? Sa mga probinsya where we got them. Sa Calbayog, from Pagadian, from everywhere. Go back (to your provinces) and come back (here in school) and let us synthesize whatever you have gathered through the research process.” Here, he says, is where the utility of a research-based curriculum lies. “Because only through disciplined research and documentation will we be able to see and pass on to and share with other schools what the Philippine High School for the Arts has been accomplishing and what the actual state of cultural awareness the Filipinos have.”

With regard to streamlining, Wong reveals major curriculum changes. “We plan to integrate those that are related, like Art Studies and Social Studies, like Health and Biology.” As to the required CAT training for graduating high school students: “Biro mo kelangan nilang mag CAT. My god dalawampu’t lima yung fourth year namin. Yung isa dun commander, yung dalawa dun MP. Aanim ang mga magmamartsa. So we are negotiating a community outreach and social immersion program to take the place of the military training for high school.”

Wong cannot help but feel sentimental when talking about the 10-year plan. “Bago mamatay ang direktor namin, he was able to imbibe that [the theme] to the community. Three years before he died (he laid the groundwork already). And so, ang iniwan niya sa amin ay yung 10-year development plan na talagang yung 10 years na yun ang battle cry nun is ‘Muling Pagtanaw, Bagong Pananaw.’ ” He says that 2005 is “human and materials resource gathering” for the 10-year plan. “We want to find out our strengths in terms of resources. Kaya ba natin? Do we have human and material back up to do that? So we have to answer that. We have to make an inventory of our resources and that’s what we’re trying to do this year. Of course coupled with defending that in Congress, on the floor di ba para mapondohan ka.”

Activities

Aside from the programs in their special secondary curriculum, PHSA lines up several academic support programs and extracurricular activities.

PHSA has a curriculum support program to help students cope with their academics. “Kasi naniniwala kami na merong ibang mga bata na napaka-talented pero nagkukulang siya dun sa basic education. Meron kaming tinatawag na academic support program para tulungan ang mga batang ito na mabigyan sila ng tutorial ng mga lessons on basic education. Para maka-cope. Mayroong mga batang nangangailangan talaga. Accepted namin yun. Malakas sila sa arts pero medyo namumroblema sa basic education,” says Cabauatan. According to her, PHSA believes that “Lahat ng mga bata ay may karapatang na mag-develop, kailangan lang ng tamang pag-aasikaso.”

Artistic productions inside and outside the campus are part of PHSA’s regular activities. “Culminating activity ng lahat ng mga arts na natutunan nila sa loob ng apat na taon. Sa Pebrero yun. Yung tinatatawag naming Ibarrang Arts Festival. Pagkatapos meron kaming mga invitations na mag-perform sa ibang lugar. In fact ngayong Enero, dalawa yung naka-schedule na puntahan ng mga musicians. Isa sa Tacloban, isa sa Laoag. Invitational yan. Binibigyan sila ng performance honorarium. Yung pera na iyun ginagamit nila para makapunta naman sila sa ibang lugar. Ini-roroll-over yung pera.”

Part of PHSA’s agenda as well is to reach out to other schools and to develop an audience for the arts. “Meron kaming tinatawag na ‘Lingap Paaralan, Handog Sining.’ Pumupunta kami sa eskwelahan para magturo. Ang natapos namin yung Los Baños National High School. Siyempre sila yung pinakamalapit. Tapos this year mag-aadopt naman kami ng elementary school. Ang purpose naman namin, para mai-prepare na yung mga bata na makapag-apply for scholarship dito sa Los Baños. Para elementary pa lang, teachers na namin ang magtuturo sa kanila,” says Cabauatan.

Like any other high school, PHSA also mounts interschool competitions, outreach programs, sports fests, and educational trips. PHSA students also get the privilege of interacting with visiting artists, cultural leaders, and government officials.

Contact details

I was there three or four hours and I felt attached to the place. I couldn’t help but feel a little regretful not knowing about the existence of Philippine High School for the Arts back in the day when I was about to enter secondary school. If I did, I would’ve taken my chance and applied for scholarship. Studying Science and Math and being able to harness my artistic inclinations in the middle of nature, far from the honking of horns, the smoke, with only the tweeting of birds and the sweet smell of mountain air, is so enviable.

To get in touch with PHSA, you can visit their Website at http://www.ncca.gov.ph/PHSA/home.html, call them at telefax (049) 536.5971 or (049) 536.2862, or send them mail at phsa@laguna.net and this address: Philippine High School for the Arts, National Arts Center, Mount Makiling, College 4031, Los Baños, Laguna.

Ginaw!

naligo ako kanina
di ko alam napakalamig pala ng tubig
nanginig ako pagkabuhos ko
napatalon grabe
nasanay rin balat ko
sa haplos ng tubig
na maginaw pa sa yelo

Pulis na Matulis

Dear Kuya,

Di mo paniniwalaan ang kwento kong ito. Muntik na akong makulong kagabi! Nakakahiyang aminin ang dahilan. Nahuli akong nag-cruise kagabi sa Starmall. Teka Kuya baka di ka pamilyar sa terminong cruise. Alam ko namang si Tom Cruise lang ang kilala mong Cruise. Yun ay bukod pa kay Sheryl Cruz, Sunshine Cruz, Donna Cruz, at isama mo pa si Tirso Cruz. Ang cruise Kuya ay terminolohiyang nangangahulugan ng paglibot at paghahanap ng makakaniig na panandalian o quickie.

Ganito ang nangyari Kuya. Pauwi na ako galing sa restawran kagabi. Sinadya kong di sumabay sa mga kasamahan ko dahil umaga pa lang eh libog na libog na ako. Pasensya na Kuya sa lengwahe ko. Libog lang kasi ang pinaka-epektibong salita na naaapuhap ko ngayon na sumasaklaw sa naramdaman ko kahapon. Ewan ko ba Kuya. Ilang araw nang mainit ang dugo ko. Siguro kung naging straight ako, ang dami ko ng babaeng naanakan. Dumaan ako sa Starmall na kilalang tambayan ng mga lalaking tulad ko ang pangangailangan. Dumiretso ako sa palikuran sa ikatlong palapag. Pagpasok ko pa lang ay may natipuhan na ako. Matangkad siya ng kaunti sa akin. Kulay tsokolate ang kanyang balat, maigsi ang buhok, makinis ang mukha, at mukha namang matino. Yun ang akala ko.

Sa salamin ng palikuran, napansin kong ninakawa niya ako ng sulyap. Itinuring ko itong palatandaan na siya ay interesado rin sa akin. Sa kasamaang palad, may daluyong ng mga taong nagsipasukan sa palikuran kaya’t di natuloy ang aming maitim na balak. Sinundan ko siya paglabas niya.

Ang mga mata niya’y nangungusap sa akin. Sinundan ko siya. Lubha akong nasiyahan ng pumasok siya sa palikuran sa ikalawang palapag. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, di ako nagkamali sa basa sa kanya. Pareho kami ng hanap. Sa masamang palad, dahil sa oras marahil ng labasan, napakaraming tao ang labas-masok sa palikuran. Sa mga pagkakataong naiiwan kaming dalawa sa loob, sige ang haplusan ng aming mga paningin. Kung may mga kamay nga lamang ang mga mata, marahil nahawakan na namin ang isa’t isa kanina pa. Kung may mga labi nga lang siguro sila, marahil kanina pa magkakuyumos ang mga ito. Subalit mukhang isang pwersa ang kanina pa nagbabadya ng masamang pangitain.

Lumabas siya muli at tumungo sa isa pang palikuran sa kabilang panig ng ikatlong palapag. “Naku swerte at walang tao,” nasabi ko pa sa sarili ko. Masosolo kako namin ang isa’t isa sa wakas. Sa harap ng malaking salamin, nagkunwa akong naghuhugas ng kamay at nagpupunas ng mukha gamit ang aking puting panyo. Sampung minutong titigan, pagkagat-kagat sa mga labing namumula na, at pagpupunas ng panyong halos bumura na sa aking mukha ang lumipas.

Marahil dahil sa init ng aking pakiramdam, sinunggaban ko ang bahagi ng kanyang katawang kanina ko pa pinagnanasaan. Wala akong madama. Kakaiba sapagkat inaasahan kong sa haba ng paglalandian, dapat ay may epekto na ito sa kanya ng tulad ng epekto nito sa aking nabubuhay na bahagi.

“Gago ka ah. Bakit mo hinahawakan titi ko? Security ako dito,” sabay labas sa ID niya sa bulsa. “Halika sa security office.” Ang mga sumunod na sandali na yata ang pinaka-nakakahiyang pangyayaring aking naranasan. Mas malala pa Kuya dun sa pagbibitin sa akin dati ni Tatang sa punong mangga sa bakuran nang nalaman nyang bakla ako. Mas nakakahiya pa kesa nung hubaran ako ng karsunsilyo ng mga gago kong kaklase nung Grade 6 ako dahil sa bakla ako.

Hawak nya ako sa kwelyo ng aking t-shirt, parang kuting na sapilitang hiniwalay ng maharot na bata mula sa kanyang pusang nanay. Nagpumalag pa ako nung una pero naisip kong mas makabubuting sumama na lang ako ng matiwasay para wag na akong maeskandalo pa ng lubusang.

Sa security office, inilahad ng lalaki ang kwento nya ng nangyari. Pinalabas niyang walang nangyaring landian sa salamin, na bigla ko na lamang sinunggaban ang kanyang maselang bahagi na walang pagbubuyo mula sa kanya. Pinigilan ko ang aking sarili. Tinawagan ko ang kaibigang kong abogado para tulungan akong ayusin ang gulong pinasok ko.


Sa presinto, kalmado lamang akong inintay ang kaibigan kong abogado. Sinabi ko Kuya sa pulis na di muna ako magbibigay ng kung anumang pahayag habang di dumarating ang kaibigan ko.

Salamat sa diyos Kuya at mahusay ang kaibigan kong abogado. Sa presinto na niya ako naabutan. Nakahinga lang ako ng malalim nang dumating siya. Laking pasalamat ko sa kanya. Sa totoo lang, siya ang pinakahuling taong iisipin kong lalapitan ko. Ex ko kasi siya Kuya eh. Ibang kwento naman yun Kuya. Isusulat ko sa iyo sa susunod.

Nag-usap ang kaibigan kong abogado at ang namputsang complainant ng sarilinan. Inilahad na lamang sa akin ng kaibigan ko ang napagkasunduan nila. Nanghingi raw ng tatlong libo ang mokong Kuya para di na ituloy sa kung saan pa ang kaso. Buti na lang at natawaran ng kaibigan ko ng isang libo ang danyos. Di pa masyadong nabutas ang bulsa ko. Syempre may kaunti ring abot sa pulis na tila kalakaran na ata sa mga ganitong sitwasyon.

Napakahaba ng gabi ko kagabi Kuya. Isa sa di ko makalilimutan at pinakamakabuluhang gabi sa buhay ko. Umulan ng malakas Kuya pagbaba ko ng bus pauwi. Sa loob-loob ko, sana’y mahugasan ng ulan ang katarantaduhang pinagbayaran ko ng ilang oras ngayong gabi. Pero sa kabilang banda, nararapat ko atang isuot na parang chapa ng katapangan ang karanasang ito. Naging matapang din naman ako. Nabuksan din ang isip ko sa mga bagay na dati ko pang alam ngunit madalas ay di binibigyan ng pansin. Tulad ng halaga ng puspusang pag-iingat sa sarili, ng pagrespeto sa pampublikong lugar, ng pagbibigay halaga sa mga kaibigang tunay na maaasahan. Paalalaa sa akin ng kaibigan kong abogado na, magpasalamat daw ako sa Kanya bago ako matulog kagabi upang pasalamatan Siya sa lahat ng nangyari. Ginawa ko yun Kuya. Bukod dun, nangako rin ako sa aking sarili na ibabaon ko sa puso ko ang lahat ng mga leksyong natutunan ko. Ayokong sayangin ang gabing muntik ng tumapos sa mga masasayang araw ng pagiging malayang bakla ko.

Susulat ulit ako sa iyo Kuya. Inaantok na ako.

Nagmamahal,

Jojoboy

A View from the Top

This a view of a portion of the Manila skyline from the Manila Diamond Hotel Skylounge at the 27th floor. I took this last Friday while taking a lunch break from a salescon I was attending. I got more pictures in my flickr. Click on the link on the right side of this page.

Putangina! Karma!

Leche! I'm in this stupid cafe at Kalentong writing my blog entry after weeks of drought and then when I'm all inspired and halfway through my blog the computer dies on me! Putangina! hahahahahahah Lesson learned: when you're using somebody else's computer, save whatever you're doing every minute or else run the risk of collecting back your thoughts and redoing everything.

----------

I was writing about karma and how i don't believe it before this damn computer died on me. i guess computers are very much like men. When you're all engrossed in them, they walk away. Computers are easier to deal with. You can just restart them if they die on you. Men, you can't just push a button to keep them.

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I don't believe in karma. It is such a sneaky way to make people to do good. Good that is borne out of fear of karma is so phony. But sometimes things happen that make me rethink how i feel about it.

I was going around the mall looking for a place to lunch when i noticed this guy following me around. He's around my height, wearing a light purple oversized polo, fair-skinned, clean-cut, with a pudgy stomach. The little slut in me decided to flirt with the poor guy who I ended up pushing over in the end (how i told the story before this stupid computer died on me was lot more interesting. Can't get the groove back. sorry. hahahaha) So ok nothing happened because I was such an ass.

Now after i took my lunch, I was so stuffed i had to take a walk. On my way down the escalator, there's this looker of a guy who was staring at me. He had the greatest chinito eyes. I'm not one to fall for oriental looks but the way he ogled at me sent half of Metro Manila's electricity down my spine. In other words, little miss slutty me had to follow him. Now the tables were turned, i was the one who was played at. It turned out he was behaving like i did with the poor purple polo guy I played with a few hours ago. That's why before I sleep tonight, I'd expect myself to have some serious talk with little miss slutty. i think we have a lesson or two to learn about karma.

Karma
Alicia Keys

Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.
Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through
Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.
What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

Another Used to Be

When I have a lot of things going on in my mind, I am usually hard up on explaining what I think and feel. I am stupid when it comes to that. I am scared. So I let songs do the explaining for me.

Another Used to Be
sung by Joe

I brought you here
So that I could express the things I've been thinking bout
Give me your ear cuz I don't normally do this
So bear with me through this
There are so many things
That I wanna say
But let me start by simply saying
I thank you...

Darling just because
I used to love someone that I didn't like
We used to wanna break up every other night
I used to think relationships were a lot of stress
I used to think that pain was a part of happiness
Now all that's changed since you've come my way
But I don't want us to become
Another used to be

I hope what I'm saying
Don't discourage you in any kind of way
Cuz I do believe
That you have the potential to be everything I need
I hope that you can really understand
That I would hate to be with someone new

And tell her what I'm telling you
I used to love someone that I didn't like
We used to wanna break up every other night
I used to think relationships were a lot of stress
I used to think that pain was a part of happiness
Now all that's changed since you've come my way
But I don't want us to become
Another used to be

Cuz it would only be
Another waste of time
Another moment to erase hour
on my mind
Another memory part of history
I can't forget cuz it keeps on haunting me
Now that you're here it's evidently clear
I don't have to worry
I don't ever have to have this worry again (again)

Oooohhh
I used to love someone that I didn't like
We used to wanna break up every other night
I used to think relationships were a lot of stress
I used to think that pain was a part of happiness
Now all that's changed since you've come my way
But I don't want us to become
To become another used to be

I used to be the one
I used to love someone that I didn't like
We used to wanna break up every other night
I used to think relationships were a lot of stress
I used to think that pain was a part of happiness
Now all that's changed since you've come my way
But I don't want us to become
To become another used to be

I used to be the one
I used to love someone that I didn't like
We used to wanna break up every other night
I used to think relationships were a lot of stress
I used to think that pain was a part of happiness
Now all that's changed since you've come my way
But I don't want us to become
Another used to be

Bukas na Lang

Bukas na Lang Kita Mamahalin
as performed by Lani Misalucha

Kay hirap palang umibig sa di tamang panahon
Kung bakit ngayon ko lang natagpuan ang isang katulad mo

Sana noon pa kita nakilala
Sana noon pa lang na ang puso ay malaya pang magmahal

Bukas na lang kita mamahalin
Sabay sa paglaya ng ating mga puso
Bukas na lang kita mamahalin

Kay hirap pa lang umibig sa di tamang panahon
Kung bakit ngayon ko lang natagpuan ang isang katulad mo

Sana noon pa kita nakilala
Sana noon pa lang na ang puso ay malaya pang magmahal

Bukas na lang kita mamahalin
Sabay sa paglaya ng ating mga puso
Bukas na lang kita
Bukas na lang kita
Bukas na lang kita
Mamahalin

Note: Mum. This is what’s playing in my iPod since this morning. Haaay

Katok

Nagising ako ng nakabubulabog
na katok sa hatinggabi.
Isa,
dalawa,
tatlo.
Mga katok na binilang ko isa-isa,
Pinakinggan ang lakas at hina ng tunog
Gawa ng bawat dampi
Dabog ng kamao sa pinto.
Isa,
dalawa,
tatlong minutong tuluy-tuloy na katok
Dabog sa pintong kahoy.
Bumaling ako paharap sa pinto.
Isa,
dalawa,
tatlong minutong pinag-isipan
Kung bubuksan ko ito.
Sinong gago ba naman ang mang-iistorbo sa tulog ko?
Kung sa umaga nga,
Ni asong ligaw walang magnasa
Maglabas-masok sa aking tahanan,
Sa gabi pa kaya kung kelan ang aso sa labas ay nakawala,
At ang tarangka ay makailang beses na nakakandado.
Sinong kumag pa ba ang makakakatok sa pinto ko?
Isa,
dalawa,
tatlo.
Isang katok pa, sabi ko, bubuksan ko na pinto ko.
Isa, tumayo na ako.
Dalawa, hawak ko na kandado ng pinto.
Tatlo, bukas na pinto ko.
Mga bakas ng sapatos sa lupa nadatnan ko.
Bakas ng mga paa ng taong tila pabalik-balik,
balisa,
galit,
nagtataka.
Wala na ang katok.
Wala na rin siya.

I Can't Make You Love Me

Wala lang. I love songs that sound good. I love them better if they have killer lyrics. This song’s a combination of both. I haven’t heard the Bonnie Rait original but the George Michael rendition’s a killer. I wanted to attach the song file with this entry but I couldn’t figure out how. Until I do that, you’ll have to imagine the song playing in your head while you read the lyrics.

I Can’t Make You Love Me
Written by Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin
as performed by George Michael

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
Don’t patronize

Don’t patronize me

Cause I can’t make you love me
If you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel
Something it won’t
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I’ll feel the power
But you won’t
No, you won’t
Cause I can’t make you love me
If you don’t

I’ll close my eyes
Then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel
When you’re holding me

Morning will come
And I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can’t make you love me
If you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel
Something it won’t
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
But you won’t
No, you won’t
Cause I can’t make you love me
If you don’t

I'm a man who turns into a purple lady superhero!

You're Jeka Wynzorr, Sensor!


Which Legionnaire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Los Angeles Pampanga in Translation (Lost in Translation)

Luna: Mudra nakakawarla! Na-Julie Vega si Mars Ferdie na naglu-Lucy Torres ng mamahaling shumit sa Glory Hole! Eto pah! Na-Lucrecia Kasilag daw ang mga gwardiya sibil sa kahahabol sa lolah Ferdie! Knows mo ba kung SanSan cosmetics na-Julie Vega ang lolah mo? Sa Sharon Kubetah ng mga girlash! Grabe!

Mena: Ay naku! Yang lolah mo naman eh. Sobrang Kate Gomez ng mga fingerlings! Kung kelan nagpaalam lahat ng hairlalu niya sa Anita Linda nya, tsaka naman nagkalat sa Smokey Mountain! Kita mo, Luz Valdes and beauty niya ngayon.

Luna: Hoy lolah! Tama na nga ang chika natin. Baka ma-Carmi Martin pa tayo nyan!

Mena: Shurlalu! Tuloy ang paghada!

Translation (Filipino)

Luna: Grabe! Nahuli raw si Kumareng Ferdie na nag-shoshoplift ng mamahaling damit sa Glorietta! Ito pa. Nahirapan daw ang mga gwardiya sa paghuli sa kanya! Alam mo ba kung saan siya nahuli? Sa CR ng mga babae. Grabe!

Mena: Ay naku. Yang kaibigan mo na ‘yan. Sobrang kati talaga ng kamay. Kung kelan nakalbo, tsaka naman gumagawa ng iskandalo. Kita mo, sya tuloy ang talo ngayon.

Luna: Hoy! Wag na nga natin siyang pag-usapan. Baka makarma pa tayo nyan!

Mena: Oo nga! Mamasyal na nga lang tayo ulit!

Translation (English)

Luna: Oh my god! Our friend Ferdie got caught shoplifting expensive clothes at Glorietta! And boy! He gave the guards a hard time catching him! You know where they caught him? At the ladies room. Shit!

Mena: Oh well. That friend of yours is such a klepto! And he starts doing all these crazy stuff now that he’s old. He’s such a loser.

Luna: Let’s just not gossip about him. I don’t want any of these badmouthing to get back to us.

Mena: Yeah. Come on, let’s go around.

Dear Kuya

Dear Kuya,

Naisipan kong sumulat sa iyo dahil nasanay ako na kung mayroon akong nararamdaman na sobrang kasiyahan o kalungkutan, kaagad kong inilalahad sa iyo lahat. Naroon ako sa kalagayang ganun ngayon Kuya. May kung anung pulumpon ng damdaming nag-uumapaw sa aking dibdib. Ngunit sa di ko maipaliwanag na dahilan, di ko matantya kung ito ba’y dala ng saya o lungkot.

Nalaman kong bakla si Dodong Kuya. Natatandaan mo ba siya? Siya yung waiter sa pinapasukan kong restawran dito sa Maynila. Oo Kuya. Siya yung sinasabi kong muntik ko ng mahalin ngunit nagpigil ako dahil sa akala ko noo’y imposibleng magkaroon ng bunga. Alam mo namang sa mula’t sapul pa’y di na ako pumapatol sa mga lalaking alam kong di maaaring maakit sa akin. Ipinakilala nya sa akin kanina si Leandro. Akala ko’y matalik niya itong kaibigan o pinsan nung una. Madalas kasing dinadaanan siya nito sa restawran tuwing uwian. Pinilit nila akong sumama sa kanilang maghapunan. Sumama naman ako sa pagnanais na makasama si Dodong. Sa kainan, magkatabing naupo si Dodong at si Leandro sa aking tapat sa hapag. Maginaw ang panahon gawa ng walang tigil na pagbuhos ng ulan. Ginaw na tila di nararamdaman ni Dodong at Leandro sapagkat lubos na magkadikit ang kanilang mga katawan. At maski natatabingan ng hapag, pansin kong magkakapit ang kanilang mga kamay.

Apat na taon na raw sila, ang biglang sabi ni Dodong na tila sagot sa katanungang di lumabas sa aking bibig. Hinalikan sya sa pisngi ni Leandro, sabay kwento ng kanilang love story. Dumating ang pansit, siopao, at coke na aking inorder. Kumain akong di ko man lang nalasahan ang pagkain ko habang nakikinig sa kanilang kwento. Pagkatapos naming kumain, isinakay ko sila ng jeep pa-Quiapo at ako nama’y nagpasyang maglakad pauwi. Kailangan kong balikan muli lahat ng aking nakita at narinig mula sa lalaking muntik ko ng minahal at sa kanyang syota.

Di ko mailagay kung sa malas o swerte ang lahat ng mga rebelasyong bumungad sa akin. Ngayong alam kong may posibilidad na pumatol si Dodong sa akin, sabay ko namang nalaman na may nagmamay-ari ng puso nya. Sana Kuya kung pwede lang daanin sa bato-bato-pick ang damdamin, marahil alam ko na ngayon kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Ang sigurado lang, sa dalawang taong pagkakakilala ko kay Dodong at sa parehas na haba ng panahong pagtitiis kong itago ang aking nararamdaman, di na mahirap na ipagpatuloy ko ang akin nang nasimulan. Tutal, madami namang lalaking nagkakainteres sa akin eh. Mana ata ako sa iyo Kuya.

Mas ayus sana kung magkasama tayo. Mas magaang dalhin ang suliranin kung nasa tabi kita. Hayaan mo, konting ipon na lang at makakauwi na rin ako dyan sa atin. Ikamusta mo na lang ako kay Ate Doris at sa mga bata. Mahal ko kayong lahat.

Nagmamahal,
Jojoboy

PS. May nanliligaw sa aking piloto. Kostumer naming masugid sa restawran. Inaaya ako lumabas sa Linggo. Ikukwento ko sa iyo sa susunod kong liham.

Hosting 101

Hosting’s my way of indulging the spotlight-loving side of me. I find it hard to believe myself considering I was as shy as a mouse back in the day. I don’t know what I ate but I am exactly the opposite now. Not that I’ve lost all inhibitions. I still get jittery when I’m in front of an audience but once I’m there and the program starts, I just hug the limelight, all of it. Now what does it take to be a competent host? I say everyone has the potential to be a good emcee. You don’t have to be the most good-looking or the most talkative or the most influential to be able to take your turn on the mic. Now to help you make that first step toward hosting stardom, here are some improvised hosting tips.

Do your research. This is very basic. Know the kind of party you will be hosting. Is it a birthday party? An orgy perhaps? A wedding reception? Is it going to be a formal coat-and-tie event or a come-as-you-are junket? Your research is going to be crucial to the other tips.

Plan your “script”. The script is in quotation marks because I don’t recommend that you make a full-blown script (with all your spiels, blocking, and per-minute details), at least for small to medium scale events which are usually the main fare of start-up hosts. From experience, a full-blown script usually ends up not being used especially if there’s no clear program as in the case of most wedding reception parties or Christmas or birthday parties here in the Philippines. So unless you’ll be hosting a full-production program, I suggest you save yourself the trouble of doing a full-length script. Instead, I suggest that you prepare an outline of the program, or at least a list of the things that you want to do. The outline will help you steer the program to how you want it to proceed. It will also be helpful if you research bits of information or trivia or what-have-yous that may be related to the event, the occasion, or the reason for the event. For instance, you can research about the origins of Philippine wedding traditions which you can share during the program. These pieces of information will not only save you just in case you get dead air, they will also make your program informative. Make sure to consult with your client about how he wants the program to proceed. Consider his input when preparing your “script”. In the end, he will be the judge whether you did good or not.

Spruce yourself up. But not like how you spruce up your Christmas tree. First, your research will tell you what kind of clothes to wear. Wear what is appropriate to the event. Second, whether you like it or not, everyone’s attention will be on you during 90 percent of the program (in the remaining 10 percent, your audience’s attention will be on your back while somebody else is on stage) so needless to say, try to look your best. Third, wear your clothes and not the other way around. Nuff said.

Do not panic. The most seasoned hosts still get nervous before they step on the stage. It goes away after a few minutes (and maybe after a few sweat drops on your forehead. God forbid your nervousness not make you wet in other places.). It does help that you breathe in and out before you go center stage. And think that you came to the event prepared (and see to it that you do). See your jitters walk out on you in a few.

Expect the unexpected. Everything that might go wrong will go wrong. A CD doesn’t want to play after you’ve introduced the performer, or your speaker finishes 30 minutes before his time and the next hasn’t arrived yet, or a drunk guest is starting to cause trouble in the middle of your spiel—in these cases, keep in mind the old adage “The show must go on.” And it’s your responsibility to keep the show going. You can abate a few minutes of delay by jerking your funny bone to make your audience laugh with some antics, or for more formal events like weddings, you can dish out the trivia you’ve gathered from your research or if you are anticipating a longer delay, you can ask guests to give their personal messages to the newly wed or the birthday celebrant.

Your audience is your best friend. Be sensitive to what they need, but be more sensitive to what they do not need. Make them feel important by giving them a show that is entertaining without being rude or offensive. However, keep in mind that your goal is not to please everybody. That will be impossible to do. What you can do is please most of your audience, make others happy, touch others, or at the least keep others occupied until the program ends.

This article is for my good friend Jun. I know it's late. I hope this will still be useful.:-)

My One Unattainable

The other day my friend Joel and I were texting about how one unattainable guy could stand for all of the things that one can’t have. His was this gym instructor he’s got a total crush on for four years now. He asked me if I had one. I told him all I got are fleeting fancies. Nothing as torturing as his. I realize just now that I do. But like him, I am resigned to the fact that he can’t be mine. My one unattainable guy is my one in a gazillion chance of winning the lottery. But why do I then continue to pine for him? To hold him dear to my heart? To not forget him totally? What we have, we almost always take for granted. What we have, we almost always are not afraid to lose. It is the things that we cannot have that make us value what we have more. They encourage us to violate the status quo. They make us expect more from ourselves. They keep us going.
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The winter will lose its cold,
as the snow will be without whiteness,
The night without darkness,
the heavens without stars,
the day without light,
The flower will lose its beauty,
all fountains their water,
the sea its fish,
the tree its birds,
the forest its beasts,
the earth its harvest -
All these things will pass before
anyone breaks the bonds of our love,
And before I cease caring for you in my heart.
May your days be happy in number as flakes of snow,
May your nights be peaceful,
and may you be without troubles.


france - matthew of rievaulx - 13th century

Joel's Fiction

I found this really interesting fiction written by somebody named Joel from one of the Internet communities I’m a member of. His pictures looked pretty hot. Reading his literature made him hotter than expected.

I am standing in a corner, my back pressed against a wall, trying to keep myself within the two feet of dry ledge, safe from the rain. I remain unscathed mostly, except for my hair, glittered with spray and my jacket speckled with black spots where brown canvass is wet. My muscles tense with the impulse to hold myself in the cold night air, but instead I pretend, possibly bad at it, to look sexy, with a foot against the wall, hips thrust forward and a cigarette shared between my lips and fingers.

I pretend that I am not painfully conscious that I haven’t eaten dinner, nor lunch. I try to recall the last real meal I have eaten, but immediately shoo the thoughts away as the corners of my jaw slacken and my mouth water.

I smile at every passerby, hoping that my smile can pierce through the oiled fabric of umbrellas. All night, it has slid off like rainwater.

As tomorrow is named today in a flash of a second, I am aware that no other money-boys remain in the street.

I wonder if it shows, the ugly feeling of being the one at the school dance sitting down during lady’s choice. The music plays softly and I pretend to watch the dancers, or the lights or the way some unnamed wind has wandered into the school gym to play amid the cheap crepe paper decorations. As the second chorus comes, the hope that someone would ask me to dance because they like me would be replaced by the fear that somebody would ask me to dance because they were sorry that nobody was dancing with me. The song would end with me still sitting on my plastic chair, of course. Some girl is sitting down and, partly removing her first pair of high heeled shoes, would rub some soreness off her foot, yet smiling only wide enough to badly hide that she is overjoyed. Meanwhile, like a heavy gust of a warm air, the boy whom I wanted to dance with is walking with his chest in a huff, away from her, and fighting every urge to look back, ashamed by how wide and cheesy his grin is. I stretch my lips into a smile of my own and pull my eyebrows as high as I can to feign enjoyment.

Back to the present, I laugh aloud at the memory, though equally unclear to myself why I was laughing as to any of the passers by.

Maybe it was my laugh but suddenly you are standing in front of me. You will ask me for the time and I will say one o’clock; you mean how much and I mean a hundred. My price has been lowered severely by the passing of hours and also I am so happy to see you. You absent-mindedly brush-off some rain off my hair, pat my shoulders dry, while you yourself are standing in the rain. Here is where I hate myself because I imagine that you intentionally lingered your finger along my ear and my neck. You leave your room’s number and hotel and a stick of cigarette that will keep me company while I idle away a few moments before following you. During those few minutes the cigarette will burn and be flicked away, while I am slowly but surely falling in love with you. I assure myself that I am hungry enough to remember to ask you for my hundred after. Where your fingers were, my skin is still warm.

Love Doctor (Manghihilot ng Puso)

I don’t know what to think when new friends ask me for advice about their love life. Do I have the makings of Joe D’Mango? And here’s the thing. Most of these people don’t know me personally. I feel like a magnet for anonymous closet gays in need of friends to confide in! And I used to think that I’m the least approachable person I know. This guy below, I met him a few months ago. We both were looking for some “fun” but as luck (or unluck if there’s such a thing) would have it, we ended up being friends. Now he’s been fretting over how this guy he really digs shrugs him off. Read on to find out what I said about his situation.

Jonathan: Bad trip ako. Remember yung kwento ko sayo na ka text ko na na in-love ako at friends lang daw kami?


Ako: Oo. Bakit ano nangyari?

Jonathan: Umiiwas na kasi ako to forget the feelings I have for him. Nagtext kasi kanina. Bakit daw hindi na ako nagtetext. Sinagot ko siya. Sabi ko kapag ako nagtetext hindi ka sumagsagot. Pag di me text, sinasabihan mo ko na di nagtetext. Di ba ang hirap? Di ko na alam kung saan ako lulugar. Nakakabad-trip di ba? Ano gagawin ko? Napakamanhid nya.

Ako: Haay, ganito yan. If you think he is worth all the heartaches, by all means do what he wants you to do. Be there when he needs you. Disappear if he doesn’t. But if you think you deserve better, then it’s about time you do everything necessary to move on. Mahirap parehong gawin pero kelangan. Wag masyadong mabad trip. Tumutok sa ibang mga bagay na makapagpapabuti o makapagpapasaya sayo. Lilipas din yan.

Jonathan: How would you know if he’s worth the pain? Any sign?

Ako: Only you can tell if he’s worth it. But it’s not about him really. It’s about you. Does loving him make you happy or miserable? Does it make you a better person? Do you smile or cry when you think of him? Would you be happier with or without him? Ask yourself these practical questions to help you make your decision. Keep this in mind. Love doesn’t have to hurt all the time. It should nourish, not destroy. It should build, not demolish.

Jonathan: Thanks sa advise ha. Gagawin ko mga sinabi mo.