Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Friday, July 16, 2004


Dump me, scratch me, thrash me, hurt me , love me. Do me 'til I don't feel it anymore. Poke my eye, break my arm, twist my neck, knee my balls, and then hug me. Torture me 'til I breathe no more.

Ugly Duckling

Do you believe ugly ducklings always turn into swans? I couldn't speak for other ducklings but the ugly duckling's story is sort of my story too.
I was a cute kid.I had wavy jet-black hair.I have almond-shaped eyes with pupils that are arrestingly dark. My red lips are set off by creamy-white skin. And my smile was ice cream topped with the sweetest cherries of dimples. But I overate so I grew fat.
I don't know what direct effect it had on my complexion, but all the weight made me look darker. Uh. I looked ugly. And I had to bear with that the whole of high school and the early part of college. I didn't mind it then really. Although my Mother's been telling me to lose weight not because she was bothered by how I look but more because she was concerned of my health. I was heaviest at 180 lbs at 5'3. I started to really think about it when it became difficult for me to buy clothes my size. There was a time I had to go to the tailors for my jeans! My waistline then was 40 inches. Well, I could buy jeans with a forty-inch waistline but they are either too long(since they were made for taller guys) or to wide on the thighs(they balloon on the thighs).

So that's when I started taking actions. Drastic actions. I started dieting. There was a time I only ate bananas. I made it a point to only eat one full meal a day. And I exercised. I was so surprised that it worked. I lost the weight.
I feel a sense of accomplishment whenever I tell my friends how I did it. I don't fail to arouse amazement and disbelief whenever I show them my old pictures. They couldn't believe that the guy in the picture is me.
Wait. You might think I turned out really gorgeous after losing all the weight. I think I look fine. But more than that, losing the weight made me feel better about myself. I became more confident. I think confidence will make anyone look and feel better. And I also get to wear the clothes that I like.

Beauty Queens

Being a Beauty Queen is a way of life. That quote I got that from Melanie Marquez in one of her guestings in a talk show here in the Philippines. So what in the hell was I thinking quoting her on my blog? Nothing. Like other Filipinos, I'm fascinated with Beauty Queens and Beauty Pageants in general. I remember when my siblings and I were younger, we'd play pretend. Playing Beauty Queen was one of our favorite role-playing games (next to playing Fairies and Queens). We'd don our cape (bed sheets, one end tied around our necks), wear our crowns (cardboard cutouts adorned with glitters and collored paper), and hold our scepters (barbecue stick, although there was one time i used a TV antenna) while we promenade around the room, waving at the imaginary audience. Of course, being the eldest, I'd be Ms. Universe. My younger brother would be Ms. World and my sister would be Ms. International. That young, we already had an idea of the hierarchy of beauty pageants. So I'm just wondering if that was how Melanie Marquez's childhood was like. Did she ever, as a child, practice walking like a Beauty Queen? Or hold a make-believe scepter and wear a cardboard crown? Did she practice her smile and her wave in front of the mirror?
If fulfilling dreams is as easy as living it, I would probably be a beauty queen by now. hahahahahaha.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

A Rejoinder to the Uncut Version

The one thing that really turned me off this guy is the small favor he has been asking me to do for him. After that weekend of uncut fun, he has been asking me to give him cellphone load. Duh! The first few times I had a good excuse because I was either in a remote place where there are no place near to buy load or it's pretty late to get out of the house and buy load. But the third time that he did, I just told him straight that paying for sex isn't my style. He didn't text me afterwards. I was duped there for awhile. I really thought he was nice. I've heard from him again two nights ago. He made my phone ring two times in the middle of the night. I thought it was something important so I rang him as well just to let him know I was still awake. He texted me asking me if I missed his whacker. hahahahahahaha. I wanted to play with him so I said I did. He texted back,probably wanting to spite me, telling me in broken english that he was disappointed the last time that we texted (about the small favor he was asking me) and that what I told him (me not paying for sex) sounded "stupid" to him. hahahahahahahaha. I didn't realize he was funnier than I thought he was. :-) Anyway, I don't plan to have any form of communication with him anymore. He's one of em jerks who use their bodies to get what they want. They are incapable of emotions. What they feel is dictated by what they need and what they want.

The Weekend Exploit: Uncut Version (a repost from my eBloggy)

It's Monday and I'm supposed to feel refreshed and recharged but for some reason, I feel more tired than I did last Friday. It's not that I do not know why. hahahahahahaha

It must've been because of the weather. I felt freakin horny yesterday so I went to this place where I was damn sure i'd get laid. So I was doin the rounds when I bumped into this guy. He was around 5'9 tall and a bit skinny. He was lanky. The first time i saw him I thought he was too effeminate for me. It must've been because he walked like he was strutting the ramp or something. Well it didn't take me long to find out he was more than the man that i was hoping for.

I wouldn't give you the details of what we did but i'd tell you one thing. He was uncut. hehehehehe I've always wanted to be with a guy who was uncut. It wasn't the first time i saw one but it was the first time i saw one on a Filipino. The first uncut appendage i saw was that of a freakin blonde hottie who unfortunately was a lot older than i am. Still yummy though, but old just the same. This guy I was with yesterday, i found out, was 22 years old and works at a Chowking outlet near where I live. It was funny cause before we got into each other's pants, i had to ask if he was a cb. I just wanted to be sure cause I didn't have money then. :-) And it's not my style to pay for sex.

I thought he had a puny member the first time i glanced at it. I found out he hadn't had all of it out yet. It was shameful I couldn't keep smiling when i realized he was uncut... and huge. The more shameful part was when I asked for his number after we were done. I don't usually give out or ask for my one-timer's numbers. But I couldn't just let him leave without being certian we'd do it again. hehehehehehe. He got me hooked.

No I haven't fallen for him. I don't even know him. But he was pretty nice. He even volunteered to keep me company while i did my grocery after. The thing is, it's pretty clear to me that that was just that. Sex. I'd do it again with him. But i don't think i'd fall in love with him. I'm more practical now than emotional. And I know how to distinguish lust from love.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

My Thoughts about Blogging

blogging's like slicing your brain to thin strips, salting em, and then drying em under the sun. It'll be fun watching every drop of moisture evaporating from them, each strip curling up like besuto prawn crackers when dopped in steaming hot oil. I could even hear them crackling.