Tuesday, September 13, 2005

My One Unattainable

The other day my friend Joel and I were texting about how one unattainable guy could stand for all of the things that one can’t have. His was this gym instructor he’s got a total crush on for four years now. He asked me if I had one. I told him all I got are fleeting fancies. Nothing as torturing as his. I realize just now that I do. But like him, I am resigned to the fact that he can’t be mine. My one unattainable guy is my one in a gazillion chance of winning the lottery. But why do I then continue to pine for him? To hold him dear to my heart? To not forget him totally? What we have, we almost always take for granted. What we have, we almost always are not afraid to lose. It is the things that we cannot have that make us value what we have more. They encourage us to violate the status quo. They make us expect more from ourselves. They keep us going.

The winter will lose its cold,
as the snow will be without whiteness,
The night without darkness,
the heavens without stars,
the day without light,
The flower will lose its beauty,
all fountains their water,
the sea its fish,
the tree its birds,
the forest its beasts,
the earth its harvest -
All these things will pass before
anyone breaks the bonds of our love,
And before I cease caring for you in my heart.
May your days be happy in number as flakes of snow,
May your nights be peaceful,
and may you be without troubles.

france - matthew of rievaulx - 13th century

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