Wanna Volunteer? I Bet You Do!

Just when I thought this is going to be an uninteresting day for my blog life, my officemate handed me this “ad” purportedly from the University of Toronto. Would you be interested?

Just in case the ad appears too pixelized to be read, here’s what it says:

Participants Needed For Research

The Department of Otolaryngology is undertaking a joint study with the Department of Urology examining the effects of human semen on speech. Our objective is to establish whether acts of “rigorous” fellatio may contribute to pathology of the larynx. We are currently recruiting males willing to receive fellatio. The specific aim of this study is to ascertain whether proteases found in human semen are deleterious to the tissues that comprise the oropharyngeal cavity. Would you be willing to assist? A conditional honorarium of $145 will be provided.

So not for You

I think of you so often and so intense,
I can almost touch you with the skin of my mind.
My body feels like swimming in the depths of the sea of your soul.
My being gets burnt by the rays of your love.
But why can't I touch you when you're just right across me?
Why can't my heart leap out of my chest and embrace yours when they are just two beats and a half apart?
Why can't my hands caress your skin when the space between us is as thin as a spider's web?
And my lips, why can't they kiss yours when they talk to each other so close like they are one?
Why are we not so meant to be when all that I want and all that I live for is you?

May Bababa Ba?

Sumasakay ka ba ng jeep? Katulad ng karamihan ng ordinaryong Pilipino, ang jeep ang pangunahing paraan mo upang marating ang iyong paroroonan. Sa araw-araw ba naman na pagsakay mo sa jeep, aasahan mo pa bang mapansin ang mga bagay na ganito?

1. Karamihan ng mga pasahero ay mas gustong umupo sa dulo ng jeep malapit sa pintuan malayo sa driver. Kaya’t ang mga bagong sakay ay nauupo lagi sa dulong malapit sa driver dahil ang lahat ng mga nauna sa jeep ay umaatras patungo sa pinto ng jeep.
2. Mas madalas sa hindi, ang dalawang huling pasaherong sasakay sa terminal kung saan magpupuno muna ang jeep bago lumakad ay laging nauupo na katapat ang isa’t isa. At dahil sa masikip na at halos kalahati na lamang ng puwet nila ang nakaupo, nagkakabungguan na ang mga tuhod nila.
3. Walang pasaherong sasagot kung magtanong ang driver kung may bababa sa susunod na babaan. Pero kapag nasa tapat na ng babaan ang jeep, tsaka naman may pasaherong biglang papara. Syemre, dahil sa di naman kaagad makahihinto ang jeep, lalagpas ng konti ang jeep sa bababaan ng pasahero. At itong magaling na pasahero, galit na bababa, pabulong-bulong, at kung mas matapang pa, may kasama pang masamang titig sa driver at mahinang mura habang bumababa.
4. Imbes na magsabing “Para po sa tabi,” gawain ng maraming pasahero na pumitik sa kisame na para bang pumipindot ng buton na magpapahinto sa humaharurot na jeep.
5. Mas madalang sa meron na pasaherong nagpapasalamat kung iabot ng kapwa pasahero nya ang bayad at sukli nya.

Sa pagsakay mo sa jeep mamaya pag-uwi mo, tingnan mo nga kung totoo ang mga na-obserbahan ko. Isa ka ba sa kanila?

All Soil and No Rain

I used to believe that writer’s block is a very convenient excuse for writers who can’t get their lazy asses up to their filthy computer keyboards and type all the crazy ideas spilling the brim of their brains. I’m ashamed to admit that I actually am experiencing exactly writer’s block now. And it’s killing me! I feel like a plant during El Nino. All soil and no rain. Just the heat of the sun kissing my outstretched greens. So before they all turn brown, I better do something about it. But what?
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My mom’s home for a month’s vacation from work. She’s been enslaved by the Arabian Ministry of Health for almost two decades now. She’s the hero in my life. She sent all four of us kids to school, fed us till my two brothers got fatter than I was when I was in high school. And now that my youngest brother’s graduating from college, she can finally breathe a little easier now. I’m kinda expecting she’d be staying good after that but sadly she says she has to be back there. I hope she decides it’s gonna be her last year there. I miss having a full-time mother around.
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I decided I’m going to grow my hair again. I’ve been shaving my head for close to five years straight because I wanted to hide the worsening drift between my hair and my eyebrows. (You'll see a picture of the longest length I've grown it in five years in a picture somewhere in this entry.) But then I thought what the heck. I’ve been examining how I look now that I have some hair growing and I don’t think it’s that bad. So I’m gonna try once again, with my fingers and my toes crossed, to grow my once lush waves of jet black hair. This might be the last time I do this before my hair line rages a nuclear war with my brows.
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Are you catholic? When was the last time you heard Mass? Mine was last Tuesday and it brought an unexplainable emotional tsunami that ravaged the shore of my heart (soul?). I decided to pass by the Greenbelt church because I wanted to pray. I read somewhere that praying has some physiological benefits. I wasn’t feeling too good then so I gave it a try. I was surprised because I still knew how to go about the motions. But what astounded me was how deeply I was moved by the experience. It came to a point when I felt I wanted to cry. I had so many things running in my head that time which caused all of the physical pain that I was feeling. I was very anxious. During communion, I decided I wanted to take it. When I fell in line, I was holding back the tears that wanted to fly off my eyes. And I was so close to crying when I went back to my seat and knelt to give a prayer of thanks. I was speechless in front of the Lord. But my heart was doing the talking. The experience was very liberating. I knew it was a turning point in my relationship with God. A turning point to where? That I still have to decide.