Usama Bin Laden Cologne Spray

The last I remember, colognes are supposed to make us smell good. What the fuck?

Now here's the perfect song for the TV commercial for Usama Bin Laden Cologne Spray.

Papa Cologne by Parokya ni Edgar

Kung ang iyong problema

Ay ang iyong mukha

Wag ng mag-alala

Pagkat nandito na

Ang sagot sa lahat ng

Problema mo sa mga babae

Ang gamot sa lahat ng

Pagkakabigo ng mga lalake

Nandito na ang Papa Papa Cologne

Mag-aamoy mayaman

Kahit na pagpawisan

Din na mahihirapan

Diretso ng kanto

Kung saan may tindahang

Mapagbibilhan nitong

Produkto

Siguradong patok (at wala kang putok)

Garantisado

Gumamit ng Papa Papa Cologne

My name is Peter North and I'm from Houston, Colorado

I play a lot of Tennis and I

Know a little judo

My darling likes me smelling

Good

It always turns her on

That's why I always use

Papa Cologne

From an Ant's Point of View

I read a post in areyouinthemoodforsomedude about the book A Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. I've read the book myself and I agree that yes, the book's unique point of view made it pretty interesting.

Now I woke up yesterday morning and saw this ant crawling on my bed. I wondered how the world would look like in the point of view of an ant. If I were an ant and I woke up on my bed, my room would look like this:

Hhhmm. My room still looks like a mess whatever point of view I look at it.

Leo Oracion: The Filipino at the Summit

Leo Oracion dropped by a week ago to grant us an interview for an article we're publishing in one of our academic supplementary magazines. He was toured around the office. Everyone was excited to have their pictures taken with Oracion. Except me I guess. So you won't see me in any of these pictures. I didn't realize that my officemates were big mountaineering fans. Either that or they're just a bunch of camwhores. Nothing tops camwhoring with a celebrity.

Oracion is right there at the back. You can barely see him.

Oracion and Peter.

Oracion and Gracie.

Titanic Two the Surface

Click on the image to watch the trailer.

This is a parody trailer. I was rolling on the floor laughing at its cheesiness.

The Phone

Have you seen the Asian horror flick Phone? I haven't. Read more about it here. I got reminded of it when my friend April showed me a picture of herself posing with her cell phone. There's nothing extraordinary about the pictures but I'm posing them here because she's my amici. Look at them.

But there's this familiarity about the photos that kept bugging me. I thought I've seen something like them somewhere. Hhmmm.

Ang Daga at ang Elepante (The Mouse and the Elephant)

May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante. Ano ang ibinulong ng daga sa elepante? (The mouse whispered something to the elephant. The elephant fainted. Do you know what the mouse whispered to the elephant?)

Daga: Buntis ako, Elepante. Ikaw ang ama!

(Mouse: I am pregnant, Elephant. You are the father!)

Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala niya and daga sa doctor. Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong sa daga ang resulta ng pregnancy test at ultrasound. Hinimatay ang daga. Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante sa daga? (The elephant couldn't believe it. He brought the mouse to the doctor. When the results of the examination came, the elephant was ecstatic! He whispered the result of the test to the mouse. The mice fainted. Do you know what the elephant whispered to the mouse?)

Elepante: Ako ang ama ng dinadala mo. Elepante ang anak natin. Kambal.

(Elephant: I am the father of the child you are carrying in your womb. You are carrying an elephant. Twin elephants.)

Aral ng Kwento: Laging iwang bukas ang ilaw kapag nakikipagtalik upang makita mo kung anong butas ang pinapasok mo.

(Moral of the Story: Always keep the lights on when having sex so you’d see what orifice you’re sticking it in.)

Technology Update: Core 2 Duo Out

After Intel's success with the launch of the Core Duo chip early this year, tech humbugs are now buzzing with excitement with the release of Core 2 Duo. As much as I want to elaborate on this, I'm not as nuts on chips as I'd want to be. Click here to read more about Core 2 Duo. Here's a product brief from the Intel web site.

Who's UNO?

If you're a guy you'd know what UNO magazine is. They made a big splash on men's magazine publishing by featuring mostly nubile (emphasis on the YOUNG) babes on their covers.

I received a forwarded email this morning from an officemate who received the email from another officemate who received an email from her friend who did the styling for this photoshoot. She says that UNO is cooking up another boiling stew for you hot-blooded men out there. And it's not the same old you'd expect.

Here's the stylist in her own words:

UNO Mag July-Aug issue: GUESS WHO?!!

By now, there should be buzz surrounding this cover already. Suffice to say that the cover model would be the LAST girl you would think will pose for a men's magazine. I'll post behind the scenes stories as soon as the issue is out because this has been one of my toughest yet easiest (and most exciting) covers to date. :D

Let's just say that I know that most people's reaction when they find out who would be a mixture of shock and laughter. I do think that after the initial reaction, you will be curious enough to buy a copy to see how she did. I am excited to report that whoever this girl is, she did very well and we got a lot of good shots. Now, let's just see if I agree with the shots the magazine picks. Haha!

Oh, it's NOT Heart people. She's the number one guess as of this minute. My only clue is "the last girl you'd think would pose for a men's mag", ryt? well, obviously not Heart coz a lot of you sha yung first guess.

Havanas = Sore Feet

It looks bad with the medicated strip and all. But hey, it was a choice between that and walking barefoot. Screw coolness!

Ok. It's partly my fault. It's a bad idea to wear tsinelas (any new tsinelas that you have not broken in) when you're up for a long walk. I went to UP Los Banos yesterday wearing the tsinelas to spice up my wet-weather gear. I thought I looked cool wearing knee-length fitted short-jeans, fitted water-proof Superman shirt, and a water-proof aero-slim backpack. I even wore an anklet to accesorize my leg. But you know what else I got from wearing these flip-flops aside from the sore feet and eventually none of the cool effect that I wanted? I slipped on these on my way down the Boni MRT station. And I thought I had a tough luck with the sore feet! Good thing my butt was well-cushioned so I didn't break anything. I remember the fall was double thuds on two steps of the wet concrete stairs. Shit. Just thinking of it hurts. My working out by butt (literally) in the gym did pay off.

And yes I know my feet needs some lovin'. Here're some tips you can do to take care of your feet especially if you love wearing tsinelas.

Book Preview: Uglies

Click the photo for a synopsis of Uglies.

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld

Teen Sci/Fi

Satisfaction Rating: 2.5 out of 5 books

Guilty Pleasure Rating: 5 out of 5 books

Think Sweet Valley High but a little dignified. Not that I've read any of the Sweet Valley High twins' sagas but I know you get the point. Understandably, this novel is written for the same age set. That's why I don't understand why I read it! And what's doubly confounding is that my 32- year-old guy friend was the one who recommended it! And he's recommending the whole Scott Westerfeld teen trilogy (Pretties (2^nd) and Specials (3^rd)). If you're a twenty-something who runs out of reading materials in the dead of the night or you're in the middle of a dessert and you happen to have nothing in your book bag but this book, it's not going to be that bad a read. It was entertaining really. And toward 3/4 of the book, you wouldn't want to put it down anymore until you finish it. Believe me, if you're in the middle of the desert, you'd wish you have the rest of the trilogy with you.

Here are the other two novels of Westerfeld's trilogy. You may click on the pictures for a synopsis/review/preview:

Word for the Day: Flaky

Flaky

Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): flak*i*er; -est
Etymology: ⁴flake
: markedly odd or unconventional: OFFBEAT, WACKY
- flak*i*ness noun

Vocabulary at Work: Warning. A flaky character wearing green shirt, camouflage beret, and a constant stunned look on the face roam the streets during rainy season. The flaky character is armed. He has two arms to be exact. The public is advised to stay indoors to avert any harm.

Ode to the Onion

I get my regular dose of poetry from my friend Joel who texts me every so often jewels like this one from Pablo Neruda.

Onion,

luminous flask,

your beauty formed

petal by petal,

crystal scales expanded you

and in the secrecy of the dark earth

your belly grew round with dew.

Under the earth

the miracle

happened

and when your clumsy

green stem appeared,and your leaves were born

like swords

in the garden,the earth heaped up her power

showing your naked transparency,

and as the remote sea

in lifting the breasts of Aphrodite

duplicating the magnolia,

so did the earth

make you,

onion

clear as a planet

and destined

to shine,

constant constellation,

round rose of water,

upon

the table

of the poor.


You make us cry without hurting us.

I have praised everything that exists,

but to me, onion, you are

more beautiful than a bird

of dazzling feathers,

heavenly globe, platinum goblet,

unmoving dance

of the snowy anemone


and the fragrance of the earth lives

in your crystalline nature.

Almost Havaianas

Would you believe? And just for 50 pesos?

Aside from the price, what's really good about these flip-flops is that it's a lot thicker than the real Havaianas. It's also as soft and comfortable on the feet. It's available in a wide range of colors. I plan to get the pink and the brown ones as well. Now why would you spend big bucks on a pair of tsinelas if you can get them this affordable and more durable?

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are 16% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

I am such a disappointment. I've always thought myself to be at the least 90% abnormal. Geez.

Transformers: More than Meets the Eye

This is another something to look forward to in 2007. I'm a big Transformers fan way back. I'm excited to see this.

Superman Returns

With the success of Superman Returns, the producers are already doing studies of how the next Superman film be. Here are some of them:

Superman Ballet. This Superman will have the special power to spin on tiptoes till he defeats the nemesis by making him puke because of nausea.

Summerman in Bikini. That tiny bikini is an unbreakable, impenetratable armor that protects the family jewel to ensure that Superman's family line continues.

Superman Bunny. In this study, Superman will be battling it out with Monster Carrots that plan to wipe out humans in the face of the planet.

SuperIrishman in Kilt. I heard that since Irishmen don't wear anything beneath their kilts, Superman will also wear nothing underneath his to live up to Irish tradition. They are also considering arming him with a bagpipe.

Superman in Japanese high school girl uniform. This study is targeted toward the middle to older aged men who apparently weren't convinced that Superman can make them stand up in attention.

Here are other studies the producers are considering:

SuperHelloKittyMan

SuperOtterman

And this one's my favorite:

Winnie the SuPoohperman. Yup. Complete with the hanging baby tee and nothing underneath but yellow fur. He's armed with radioactive honey inside an indestructible jar and Piglet who'll bite off anything hanging under the enemy's belt.

Quickly Heaven

I first discovered Quickly around six years ago when an old officemate kept building it up. That was during the time when there was a boom in pearl shakes and she was saying that the Quickly taro drink was much better. I was curious so I tried it. I never forgot how it tasted. It was super. Fast-forward to today. When I all but put my thoughts of Quickly in my subconscious, my brother asks me if I've tried the taro shake of Quickly in Food Choices in Glorietta 4. Of course I trooped there the soonest and I was in Quickly heaven once again.

It is strange why so good a product almost has no market presence here in the Philippines.