Damaged

Fix me my Knight. I am damaged.

Do you get that feeling sometimes? How do you deal with it?

A good friend of mine texted me a couple of weeks ago asking me to set her up with somebody. I was shocked because the implication of that is that she’s broken up with her long-time boyfriend who was also a friend of mine. She tells me that yes, they’ve broken up and that her life was a mess. She needs somebody to fix her. Now from somebody who’s been damaged several times, I tell her to stop feeling miserable and start feeling beautiful again. No one else, no boy, can pick up the broken pieces of her but herself. Yeah, it can be a mean feat but it can be done. When she’s okay, then I’ll set her up with a nice boy.

The concept of the Knight in shining armor rescuing the Damsel in distress happens in fairy tales and, well, songs like this one.

Damaged
TLC

I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time

(BRIDGE)
And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

(CHORUS)

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into

And I really really really care (And I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (But I'm scared with every touch)
Cos I don't want to lose you (Cos I don't want to lose you)
If you really really really care (If you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (Then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you, you)

My heart's at a low (low)
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that (I think you should know)
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love (I'm falling in love)
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged (I think you should know that)

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage (I'm so much to manage)
I think you should know that (I think you should know that)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged)
I'm falling in love (I love you so)
There's one disadvantage (I love you so)
I think you should know that I've been damaged

And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you)

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that (Ooh I think you should know I've been damaged)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged baby)
I'm falling in love (Falling in love with you baby, yeah)
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged

Ass Wednesday Song

That ash on my forehead, I had you put it.

The Scientist
Coldplay


Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

Jeepney Hunk 16: FX Hunk

Sitting at the back of the FX is not my thing. I always sit on the front seat or in the middle row but never at the back. But yesterday was a different story. I saw this guy from outside and I knew it was a Jeepney Hunk moment. He was cute. And he was checking me out. Hehehe. I was on my way to the gym and you know what? He was going to the gym as well. My gym. I guess yesterday was my lucky day. I just can’t tell you HOW lucky I was. Hahahaha Let’s just say he lit my Chinese New Year fireworks. Wahahahaha.

Going Public: Dear Baby

Thank you for being there. You restored my self-esteem, my worth. Thank you for looking at me the way you do. Thank you for smiling at me like I am the best boyfriend in the world. Thank you for being patient with me, my work, my quirks. Thank you for putting up with my bitchiness. Thank you for caring. Thank you for waiting.

I want to say sorry for being me. I am sorry that I can’t love you the way you love me. I am sorry that I can’t give you the attention and the time. I am sorry that I take you for granted. I am sorry that I can’t be passionate. I am sorry that I am in love with somebody else, even if I know that you are much deserving.

Even if I don’t want to admit it, you are the best boyfriend I could ever have. But I am sorry because no matter what I do, my heart keeps going back to him. I can teach my mind to think of you, but I can never tell my heart to love you as much as I love him.

My heart knows how much I owe you for saving me. You are my light at the end of the tunnel, the voice that gives me direction in the wilderness. But when I look at your handsome face, I see not you but him. When I hold your hand, it’s his warmth that I feel. And when I kiss you, his lips are what touches mine in my mind.

My life is a sad love story. You know that. I am a hand-me-down. I am perpetually in waiting. I am always somebody else’s reserve. And then you came. Baby, you will not be mine until my heart starts to want to own you. But baby, I will not ask you to hold on. When you are tired, or when it starts to hurt, you can go. But thank you for offering your heart to me, even if you know how bastardized and beaten I am.

Valentine Scrooge

I am not in the best mood today. I hate Valentine’s Day this year. I cringe in disgust when I see flower delivery boys busy hustling the streets to bring sappy flowers to their equally sappy recipients. I don’t want to see people coupling, please! Yeah I am bitter. In fact, I am so bitter I decided to wear black today.

But I do have a Valentine date. And I had to shell out some money to get him. Here’s my date. His name is Decembear.

Now this morning my mom texted me, asking how my valentine’s day is going along:

Mamee: Happy Valentine’s Anak! Kamusta? Saan ang date ninyo ni DJ?
juOn: Happy Valentine’s Mamee! Mamee matagal ng nakipag-break sa akin si DJ. Wala akong valentine’s date. Buti na lang busy ako sa work kaya di ko masyadong naiisip.
Mamee: Ah oo nga pala. Wala bang bago?
juOn: Maraming bago, pero wala po akong gusto sa kanila. Wala akong gusting i-date.
Mamee: Hayaan mo na sila. Pareho naman tayong walang date eh. Ingat ka dyan. Happy valentine’s day ulit. I love you!
juOn: I love you Mamee!

Happy Valentine's Day DJ!

This should make up for Fish.

Let me be foolish just for one day. Let me be true to myself just for today. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to the tough, dispassionate, unattached, uncaring, nonchalant me. But today, Valentine’s Day, let me be me. Let me feel again what I felt when you melt me with your sweetest smile. Let me listen again to your sincere I love yous that my ears sorely miss. All these memories I bring today, but just today, because it’s Valentine’s Day. And let me tell you, like I am celebrating this day like you are mine, that I love you. And I am not sorry that I do.

Jeepney Hunk 15: The Boys in Blue

Jeepney Hunks is doing a school tour. So I figured what best way to start this by visiting the home of the Blue Birds, I mean Blue C#$ks. Now if you have any respect for yourself, stop there and bask in what that school has to offer to us. (I don't have two balls to mention the school's name. Yeah, I'm a scaredy cat.)

juOnBox Music 20: juOn’s Videoke Hits

I am surprised by the pleasures simple things like videoke singing can do to a stressed boy like me. My friend Wacks took me to Timezone in Waltermart last Sunday afternoon for a videoke-singing trip which I surprisingly immensely enjoyed. And my singing pieces? Here they are.

Run To You
Whitney Houston

I know that when you look at me
There's so much that you just don't see
But if you would only take the time
I know in my heart you'd find
A girl who's scared sometimes
Who isn't always strong
Can't you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone

I wanna run to you (oooh)
I wanna run to you (oooh)
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm
I wanna run to you (oooh)
But if I come to you (oooh)
Tell me, will you stay or will you run away

Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me
What's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean?

I need you here
I need you here to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew how much...

Everyday
Agot Isidro

Had a letter in the mail today
and im glad you're doing fine
U tell me your missing me
and its cold in new york city
me and the girls were quite alright
thinking about you night after night
and if you feel the same way too
just remember me whispering to you

everyday ill always love you
everyday im always thinking of you
everyday's another lonely day without you
everyday you're here beside me
everyday

It's another long and sleepless night
And thoughts run through my mind
And i'm just feeling lonely
It's been so empty since you've been gone

I'll be holding on for it won't be long
I'll be counting the days til i see u home
And if u feel the same way too
Just imagine me whispering to you

Everyday...

Dear Carol

 

The White Moth Orchid with Red Lips is one of the most long-lasting orchid blossoms in the world. The 6 flowers in full bloom symbolize the resilience and strength you've shown in the last 6 decades of your beautiful life. And the 4 buds, they are our wish for you to continue spreading the gift of your love for more decades to come. This replica of the White Moth Orchid was made specifically for you. It was meticulously handcrafted from delicate glass beads, your gentle love, and Swarovski crystals that are as pure as your soul.

Orchid Poem

By Chris Barnes

Seated with sweet scented lap

Your hand beckons me as

Beauty becomes your face

Eyes a million stars sparkle

Long lasting love, your lips

Teasing taste, your tongue tempts

As fluted frilled petticoats

Smile pointing pure symmetry

Symbolic of most feminine place,

In my dreams flower lady

You feel first firm embrace.

My New Office Cube

It’s been exactly a week since I assumed my new job. I feel like a sponge absorbing all of the learnings I’m getting on the job. I’m loving it. But of course it’s not all bed of roses. The negative things, I deal with all the same. They are learning experiences as well. And now more than ever I realize that it is impossible to please everyone. But I am stepping up no matter what. I will never let anyone let me down and bring me down. Of course I am not discounting the fact that I may just be paranoid. :-)

juOnBox Music 19: Dreamgirls Soundtrack Jennifer Hudson Solos

There are 15 more days to go before the Philippine premiere of Dreamgirls. My excitement is mounting. Here are two songs which are Jennifer Hudson solos from the soundtrack. Love You I Do is nominated in the Oscars for Best Original Song, competing among others with Listen by Beyonce from the same movie.

Love You I Do
by Jennifer Hudson

Never met a man
Quite like you
Doing all you can
Making my dreams come true

You’re strong and you’re smart
You’ve taking my heart
And I’ll give you the rest of me too

You’re the perfect man for me
I love you I do

Mm I love ya

I’ve never felt
Quite like this
Good about myself
From my very first kiss
I’m here when you call
You’ve got it all
And confidence like I never knew

You’re the perfect man for me
I love you I do

You’ve got a charm
You simply disarm me every time
As long as u drive
I’m along for the ride
Your the way
I said it before
There won't be a door
That’s closed to us
Putting all my trust in you
Cause you, you’ll always be true, Oh

I never could have known
This would be,
Oh you and you alone, yeah
Now for me
I know you’re the best
You’ve past every test
It's almost too good to be true

You’re the perfect man for me
I love you I do

You’re the perfect man for me
I love you I do

I Am Changing
By Jennifer Hudson

Look at me
Look at me

I am changing, tryin' every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
I'm trying-to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you-I need a hand

I am changing, seeing everything so clear
I am changing, I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out, and I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand


All my life I've been a fool
Who said I could do it all alone
How many good friends have I already lost
How many dark nights have I known


Walking down that wrong road, there was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness-can make a person blind
But now I can see


I am changing, tryin every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend-to help me start all over again,
oh-that would be just fine
I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am-This time I am

I am changing, gonna get my life together now
I am changing, yes, I know how
I'm gonna start again, I'm leaving my past behind
I'll change my life-I'll make a vow
And nothing's gonna stop me now...hey

Chilly Early February Morning

D: Good morning! Tight hugs! Nyahaha. Feeling extra perky this chilly early February morning. Love you guys. May ganun? Hahaha. :-)

Me: Hey. You sent me another one of your clique messages. Ingat sa pagtext. Sayang sa load.

D: And so I thought you want us to be friends? I guess you’re that kind of ex that doesn’t want to be friends with their exes. Fine, I’ll leave you alone.

Me: Asus! Nagdadrama ka ba? Alam mo D di bagay sa yo ang magdrama. Ang sabi mo sa akin nung huling text mo ganito:

D: Have a very nice and eventful weekend. I mean it. :-)

Me: I’m sorry who’s this? I’m using a new phone and I don’t have no single contact from my old phone. :-)

D: Harhar. The Samsung phone blah blah. Ay, :-( kasi group message yun. Nasama pala kita sa list. Wahahahaha

Me: Sino nga ito? Mahirap manghula.

D: Make a wild guess Mr. juOn.

Me: Hhhmmm. Aha you read my blog! You’re a fan! Hahahaha No kidding, who’s this?

D: Hot as ice.

Me: Oh. Hi.

D: Sino nga ba unang nagdrama? Di missent yung last text, yung happy weekend. Gagu. Wahaha. I was in makati kahapon, text sana kita magkape pero I felt you’ll reject my invitation. :-)

Me: Asus. Eh di sana nilibre pa kita kung nagtext ka. It’s my first day in Marketing Communication today.

D: Dyan ka magaling. Mag-utos. Or mangbitch? Haha. Next time if I get a call back from Nestle. Demmit I’m late, always late. Pricipal office mamaya. Wahahaha

D: I have this feeling na mamaya sa blog mo, nakapost na tong mga text ko sa iyo. Wahahaha.

Ayan. Be careful what you wish for. Hahahaha. ;-)